Yesterday i came out (about non-monogamy) to one of my parents (my Mom, as she has always been the more supportive and rational parent, not to knock my Dad, but him and i are the same kind of stubborn, so when we butt heads it's like two donkeys sort of just kicking each other. One is just a little younger and smaller than the other one. It often takes my Mom to sort out things between us, though it's been years since she last had to play that role).
This is a small entry, but i thought it was important to make. I am thinking about writing her an email, just to explain and clarify a few things (a lot of stuff in my life suddenly made a lot more sense to her). My catalyst for coming out was the stress i was putting on them. I love my parents. They do a lot for me. I never want to cause them stress or heartache. My secretiveness, lack of desire to open up and really bring them into my life was upsetting my Mother. This is apparently been a problem since i was kid. Not surprising since i've known for over a decade that monogamy is not the right relationship style for me.
All in all, she said some hurtful things, but not intentionally. She still loves me, and understands that i am an adult and can and will make my own choices in life. She is not sure what to say to my Dad, and frankly i'm not sure either. I know he won't take it as well. The coming out process has been difficult, but luckily it is almost over, maybe.
I'll probably do an expanded post on this later, detailing more of the conversation.
This is a small entry, but i thought it was important to make. I am thinking about writing her an email, just to explain and clarify a few things (a lot of stuff in my life suddenly made a lot more sense to her). My catalyst for coming out was the stress i was putting on them. I love my parents. They do a lot for me. I never want to cause them stress or heartache. My secretiveness, lack of desire to open up and really bring them into my life was upsetting my Mother. This is apparently been a problem since i was kid. Not surprising since i've known for over a decade that monogamy is not the right relationship style for me.
All in all, she said some hurtful things, but not intentionally. She still loves me, and understands that i am an adult and can and will make my own choices in life. She is not sure what to say to my Dad, and frankly i'm not sure either. I know he won't take it as well. The coming out process has been difficult, but luckily it is almost over, maybe.
I'll probably do an expanded post on this later, detailing more of the conversation.
I haven't come out to my family yet regarding poly. I'm not sure when/if I will...
ReplyDeleteKudos to you! You made a big step, and it's great that your mom is supportive.
Thank you :)
DeleteI'm not sure if i'll ever come out to my Dad. I'd like to just live openly... But i don't know. I've mentioned poly and open relationships to him in other contexts and he's never reacted negatively, but it will be way different if it's his daughter.