Big Coyote Energy

*Note this writing was originally written over a year ago* Spoiler alert: I don't think I know how to date. Outside the scene, or inside of it. Especially inside of it. I've had a large number of negative experiences with poly, or non-monogamy in general. Veto power is pretty much a no-go for me at this point. I don't want to get involved with anyone with at least one additional serious relationship because I don't feel like there is any room for me within the relationship. Poly is not all fun and games. I'm not a unicorn. I don't want to date your; wife, girlfriend, partner or submissive. I don't want to be a triad or a V. I don't want to compete for attention or love or time. I am  super  over that right now. The local area here seems to be super into casual play or party-only play, but nothing more serious. I can't do casual kink. I've tried. It's where I've had my consent violated, multiple times. It's left me feeling repla...

Nothing is inherently bad about Tuesdays, don't get me wrong. They follow Mondays, precede Wednesdays, you know, the usual. Tuesdays are Daddy's date night with his Mistress. Tuesdays were my date night too, but not anymore it seems, for a list of reasons that shouldn't be as complicated as it is. I've been looking for another relationship in all the wrong places, People who aren't comfortable with poly, people who aren't emotionally available. People who aren't into BDSM. I wanted to put what i was actually looking for in a concise, easy to read format. Also, i always wanted to talk about what i could offer in a relationship, because they're two way streets you know. What am i looking for anyway? I guess the easiest label to put on it is secondary... Only because i have a primary. Kamm (Daddy) and live together and plan on getting married. While we may be looking for room mates in the near future, i'm not necessarily looking fo...

If Dan Savage has taught me anything, it's that people cheat and really it is something that we should all kind of get over. I understand, if you make a monogamous commitment you should keep it, but people are people and people make mistakes. People cheat for all kinds of reasons. Your spouse and you are in a sexless marriage and you still have a sex drive (which is not something you should be ashamed about). Your spouse has some sort of condition that makes sex painful, embarrassing or downright unfeasible. You have kids and you don't want to leave your significant other because other than the lack of sex, the marriage works. You no longer have intimacy in your relationship and you crave it, like any sane human being. I get it. I completely understand. I don't really think people that stray or cheat are terrible human beings. BUT.... I refuse to closet myself. Being your "behind closed doors" kind of girl is in absolutely no way appealing...

I've had a lot of people, anyone from close friends to new acquaintances ask me about how Kamm and i manage a successful poly relationship. I can't help but smirk, at least on the inside because i don't consider myself successfully polyamours. SHOCKER. I know, read on, there is a good explanation. I consider myself functionally non monogamous. This is about my relationships with non monogamy, i will try to get Kamm to write something as well. This will have a lot of me/i in it. This is because the best way for me to educate others is to talk about my experiences, things i know inside and out. For most people, either you are open to non monogamy, or you aren't. People who are predisposed to non monogamy can make monogamous commitments and keep them, but they may not necessarily be ecstatic about it. It's about self control. This is not what this writing is about. Basic Points; Non monogamy really isn't *that* much more different than monogamy, it...

I can not stand Rick Santorum.  The reasons for this are many (like, unending) and considering the fact that i'm from Pennsylvania, i've never voted for him.  I'm glad Pennsylvanians declined to re-elect him. Except for the fact that he's now started hovering over the political pundancy like an eleven year old hovers over a table and grossly masturbates to the first found issue of  National Geographic. I'm a new voter.  I'm also a single issue voter.  One of my debit cards gives pennies to Susan G. Koman for the Cure, the other gives pennies for every transaction to Human Rights Campaign .  What do these two organizations have in common? They help people.  I'm into helping people. Maybe not by raising thousands of dollars (although i've managed to do a bit of fundraising in my day) and not by calling senators or sending them angry emails (done that as well, i'll never get those hours back spent on the phone or the money in postage but i have to a...

Someone linked this on fetlife and I started browsing through it and thought it was fantastic.   Since my goal for this blog is for it to be resource over anything else, I'm going to post their original text along with all the fun links. All the original article can be found here; SexGeek Blog .  I will go back through and add my commentary in a later entry but this was too good of information not to spread along. As usual, orange text is direct quote, the red and bold emphasis is from the original article. “Polyamory is grad school relationship. It’s for grownups only. If you can’t yet bring yourself to communicate honestly with your partner about everything that goes wrong….and don’t wait too long after it goes wrong, and don’t lay on guilt when you bring it up, then don’t do it. Stay monogamous. Polyamory is not the place to work out your neuroses, any more than running a marathon is the best way to exercise your recently-broken and healing ankle.” - Raven Kalde...