Big Coyote Energy

[Coyote] She knows it is time to leave. He took off the collar, and with it, everything they ever were melts into memory. She will go, for a time, but always return. The range of her territory, grows slowly outward, in a spiral. She returns to him, his love, his home, his arms. Less and less often. One little thing at a time. He can't be there to feed her today. But maybe tomorrow. She'll stay around hungry for a couple of days, but after that she'll go off on her own. Hunting, scavenging, scrounging. Doing what she's always done. Then the new of 'it will be weeks' until she sees him. She knows. She's always known. This is just not a thing she can have. She is not His, not anymore. Not now. She will check his home often at first, and less often as time goes on. Checking for signs of a fresh scent or activity. Food or treats left out, so she knows he's thinking of her, even if he can't be there. But she knows these things too, will fade and...

I've always wanted D/s. I identify as a sadomasochist because it's easier than actually admitting that the number of people I would actually submit to is minuscule and most people just honestly don't fit the bill. Doing the 'polite female' thing is just better for everyone. Then I met someone. Whom I told over and over "I'm not emotionally available." "I'm broken." "You should find someone less damaged." "You're too nice to deal with this much baggage." Because pushing away someone who was genuinely nice to me, and interested in me, was  easier  than facing my feelings about what had been going on in my life, and what I wanted out of my life and what I would have to go through to be able to trust a new person in my life. He didn't leave. He sat with me while I cried, this mostly-stranger. He bought me dinner. He let me cry on him. He didn't question me when my social anxiety and general I'm-still-w...