Big Coyote Energy

Five people have told me "But I thought you'd like it!" In their own defense after they violated my consent, or had done something in play that we did not discuss. I'll speak about different things that have happened to me over the course of my involvement in the BDSM/Kink lifestyle. I've been active in the scene for about 4 years. I'm leaving the locations and names private so that I can cross post this to fettle. Feel free to PM me for the fet names of who these people were, except 2. I never got their fet name. The first time I ever encountered someone who did something non-consensually to me, I was at a public dungeon party at (now defunct but renamed) venue. I was negotiating a knife scene with someone I had never played with before, and part of our negotiation was them asking me the question "Are you ok with knives around your pussy?" I was, and informed them that I was fine with knives near my crotch. During this scene, this person took ...

I’ve still got most of my clothes on. You’re standing over me, i’m on my knees looking up at you. You want me to watch you  be terrible to me. You want me to make eye contact. You want me to tell you what a worthless piece of meat i am and that i deserve everything you’re going to give me. You’re going to use me as a sloppy wet fuckhole for your pleasure. You don’t give a shit if i like it or not, it isn’t about me. This is all about you. What you want. What makes your dick hard.  You cradle my face in your hands, i’m teary eyed just from terror alone. You haven’t done much to me but thats about to change. The soothing touch starts to tighten until you’re compressing my neck. My vision starts to tunnel and i struggle to get away, but i can’t. I grab at your forearms  and tug but i don’t have enough leverage. I lean into your legs and you let go.  I lean against you as i catch my breath. I can feel your weight shift, i know you’re coming after me. I reco...

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I get that male sexuality is something to be embraced. Guys start playing with themselves from the time they figure out they have something "down there." Us vagina-havers aren't always so familiar with our bodies. This is certainly something that should change if you are comfortable with the idea of masturbation.  Everyone loves orgasms, bla bla bla. That said. I don't really masturbate. I don't like it. It's like a chore for me. Masturbation is the last option before insanity for me. There is a reason for this and it has taken me years to figure out. Sex is an experience for me. Sex is something i do with someone else (or a few someone elses). Masturbation is something i do, to myself. There is no one else. Either i make up the fantasy or nothing happens. Either i dominate myself, or nothing happens. Honestly, nothing is better in most cases. I am incapable of dominating myself. I'm a submissive, dammit. There is very little difference to me between...

I found this post on Reddit.com and thought it was exceptionally apt at explaining why unwanted attention is not a nice thing. http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/124ej8/one_of_the_most_perfect_and_eloquent_explanations/

Dear gender identity, Hi. It's me. It's been a while since we talked. I know i've been kind of standoffish lately, but that's mostly because of you. I don't know what to do with you. Can you maybe, get a grip? I always thought i was straight. Then there were girls i liked. Then there were non-gender-binary people that i like. But mostly i like men, and by like, i mean fuck. I don't usually care what they identify as, but biocock (cis-cock?) is basically the top tier of what i need to be fulfilled sexually. So... Help me out here. Am i straight? Am i pansexual? Do i have to give a fuck? Sincerely, Management.