Big Coyote Energy

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A few weeks ago i went to visit Lynk. Our play tends to get very intense very quickly because we don't get to see each other that often. We do a lot of biting, rough body play and other more sadistic stuff.  We'd been discussing drowning, actually. I'm very curious about drowning, but something more interesting came up; blood play. Daddy and Lynk are planning something big for an outdoor event later in the year that i am going to be involved in. That involves a lot of blood play. I asked Lynk if we could try some blood play, on a small scale, just to see if it was something i was even into. I've seen other blood play scenes before and while i could appreciate it, i was missing something. Once i figured out what it was that was missing, Lynk was happy to help. The thing i was missing was context; It was(is) very important that the blood that is in the scene is at least partly mine. For me the act of suffering and bleeding at the hands of another is arousing as fuck a...

I know i've addressed this before, but this is the new topic of interest flying around the fetlife, so i figured i would address it. I know i have other things i need to write about (hello Charm City Fetish Fair) but i'll get to those next week. Lets talk about safe words. We'll start with a basic definition. A "safe word" is a word or phrase than when said in the context of a BDSM scene, will stop the scene. This can be something general like "red" or it can be something that would not generally come up in the context of a scene ie "fruit basket" "platypus" or "Fluggaenkoecchicebolsen." Words like "no" "stop" and "oh fuck" are poor choices for safe words, as they are generally uttered during scenes anyway. In theory they sound like a great idea. Of course safe words have their place in the context of BDSM. The problem with them is twofold. 1. Safe wording can be seen as a "...

At least i didn't think i was. Because i'm not. I'm not supposed to be... In the last couple of months, the way i play has been changing.  I'm not supposed to be like this. Masochism goes against everything i understand about my existence. I'm hypersensitive.  Pain has always been part of a negative reinforcement loop. "If it feels bad, don't do it." It's like the fundamental law of my universe, followed quickly by "if it feels good, do it." While the mix up in interpretation isn't new, the realization of it is. I tend to play with partners who have a serious sadistic streak. If you would have asked me even a year ago if i could change the way i interpret sensation on this level, i would have thought you were clinically insane. I've been flirting with the idea of masochism, mostly as a a joke because look at me, i can't handle anything. I'm a self-described pansy. Tickling is on my hard limits list because it hurts. ...

I guess last weekends theme was "Fuck it, i'll try it!" Not even joking. I started off the weekend friday DCDungeon for Fet101. CurtisMercury was demoing floggers and whips. I've tried floggers before. Big, suede, leather floggers curtsey of Silver-Switch at DOWF. Curtis had with him a signal whip. The difference between a signal whip and a bull whip is a handle. A signal whip is braided all the way to the end. A bull whip has a distinct, gripable handle. It changes the way you use the whip. In a signal whip, the fall (end piece) is usually braided into the leather. The falls are replaceable, but with a signal whip they have to be braided back in. In a bull whip, the fall is a separate piece that is easy to switch out. This is easy if you're playing rough enough with other partners to start drawing blood. The falls are often made out of leather or nylon, neither of which are able to be completely disinfected once contaminated with blood or other body fluids....

How do you safe word when you forget you can talk? I don't generally post a lot of personal stuff like this to the blog, but it is extremely important for others to know that even in the most controlled environments something can go wrong. I will post an updated fet writing below about how i have had to alter my play styles based on a quirk that happens to me when i get pushed into deep subspace; i get non-verbal.  Below is a list of what i am planning on using to help me work through this issue. A friend of mine told me "tapping out" is a safe "word" he and his submissive use. In this instance that would not have worked for me because my hands were bound. Typically, people worry if a bottom is blindfolded and gagged. I had no gag and no blindfold, i was perfectly able to voice my colors but i forgot that i could talk. As i mention at the bottom of the writing i will start trying to use the flag or scarf dropping method of "safe wording." ----...

This is probably going to encompass a lot of things other than *just* went on a Winter Fire. I think Winter Fire was a culminating event for me. Kamm routinely points out that almost every scene i do pushes my own personal boundaries, and for some reason i don't actually think about that a lot. I haven't even been here for a year, i entered the scene on May 21, 2011, Kamms birthday. I was afraid of everything! I was afraid of the doorbell that Kamm rang to get us into the PlayHouse that very first time, so scared i jumped and knocked into the trashcans at the door and scared myself *again*. Now look at me. I'm a badass. But not as badass as Kamm... He got fucking abducted. Winter Fire gave me a lot of input on the direction in which i'd like to grow as a submissive. I still see myself as a submissive (with a curious, sly, bratty side) and maybe a little toppy, for rope especially, but the type of play i'd like to get into is a lot clearer now. I want...

Anyone that's spoken to me for any real length of time knows i love three things; ropes, knives and pet play. I experience those in that order. Most of the people i know are riggers (novice, learning and experienced alike) so i get to be part of a lot of rope play and the occasional suspension. i don't have a lot of "successful" suspensions under my belt but the number slowly grows. i love learning about how my body handles the stress and newness of feeling gravity interact differently on my body. How i handle the stress of the ropes pulling, my weight redistributing itself, my top pushing me harder and harder. My body is its own story of what the fuckery at best. Hypersensitivity, ticklishness, etc. i think because of that i'm a more challenging/pain in the ass bottom, sometimes i feel bad for my tops. At least working with different people has allowed me to be able to read myself better. As has looking into a lot of rope-related risk assessment...

I thought I'd take this opportunity to wish those of you in the USA a Happy Thanksgiving, or happy pre-Thanksgiving. Please be safe and responsible, Thanksgiving is the most traveled holiday in the US and there are lots of drunk people.  Friends don't let friends drink and drive, right? :3 Kamm and I celebrated my birthday yesterday and today (since my birthday actually falls the day after Thanksgiving this year, and I hate celebrating it then because no one is ever around).  Kamm spent the last few months making a wonderful birthday weekend for me. There was an incredible co-topping knife threesome scene-thing between him and a friend of ours (whose wonderful life partner gave him the ok to do this).  I was blindfolded for most of it but there were many pokes and prods and bites and squeals. I love knives, so this was absolutely wonderful for me. The next day Kamm took me out and surprised me with a visit from my oldest male friend (OMG We've known each other for OVE...

This definition of BDSM comes from wikipedia ; BDSM is an erotic preference and a form of sexual expression involving the consensual use of restraint, intense sensory stimulation, and fantasy power role-play . The compound acronym BDSM is derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D or B/D), dominance and submission (D&S or D/s), and sadism and masochism (S&M or S/M). BDSM includes a wide spectrum of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships , and distinct subcultures . Activities and relationships within a BDSM context are characterized by the participants usually taking on complementary, but unequal roles, thus the idea of consent of both the partners becomes essential. Typically participants who are active – applying the activity or exercising control over others – are known as tops or dominants . Those participants who are recipients of the activities, or who are controlled by their partners are typically known as bottoms or submissives . In...

T he Human Pony Rebecca Wilcox While I cannot condone the use of a metal bit in a human mouth, this book makes me so incredibly happy.  I ordered it off Amazon about a week ago and have been siting at the front door waiting for fedex ever since. This is the best seventeen dollars I've ever spent. The book is a 140 page photographed masterpiece that I read in a few hours.  The photographs are stunning, the format is easy to read and understand and the text is large.  If you are interested in pony play, any kind of pony play, this is an absolute must-have of a book.  BDSM, sexual/stud, dressage, cart, work, any pony and their trainer can benefit from this book. It addresses all aspects and how they are different from one another. The book also goes over tips and tricks for figuring out your inner pony and offers ideas on how to get both pony and trainer onto the same page, which is quite important. You wouldn't want a sadist as your trainer if you are a pony wh...

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Be where you want to be. Breathe.