This is probably going to encompass a lot of things other than *just* went on a Winter Fire.
I think Winter Fire was a culminating event for me. Kamm routinely points out that almost every scene i do pushes my own personal boundaries, and for some reason i don't actually think about that a lot. I haven't even been here for a year, i entered the scene on May 21, 2011, Kamms birthday. I was afraid of everything! I was afraid of the doorbell that Kamm rang to get us into the PlayHouse that very first time, so scared i jumped and knocked into the trashcans at the door and scared myself *again*. Now look at me. I'm a badass. But not as badass as Kamm... He got fucking abducted.
Winter Fire gave me a lot of input on the direction in which i'd like to grow as a submissive. I still see myself as a submissive (with a curious, sly, bratty side) and maybe a little toppy, for rope especially, but the type of play i'd like to get into is a lot clearer now. I want to be pushed, hard. This is going to be choppy and it might be hard to read. Please let me know if you need clarification.
---
WinterFire started off with our room mates @COLOR and @Crosswords giving me a call that the overflow2 hotel could not find our registrations. After going back to the website and re-checking, i was delightfully surprised to find that we were in the host hotel! Yay! Room 911, it was the source of a few jokes over the weekend. It was *so* wonderful to find out we were in the host and not the overflow. We will be paying to be in the host EVERY year from now on. There is no other way. We took the metro down so we didn't have to worry about a car. THAT was also a great plan. I'd love to plan a little carpooling next year to let more people take advantage of that. The only issue is you have to pack LIGHT!
Friday;..
Friday was great, we arrived right after @TheHammer, @Perfectly_Bound and @Lochai. Saw @CurtisMercury and @BettyRage. Got molested a bit while checking in, can't go wrong with that. After that Kamm and i zoomed up to the room to shower and change real quick before going down to registration.
My first scene of the night was with @CurtisMercury. It was awesome. My boobs were really sensitive so we went with some breast bondage and i suppose what would be a partial suspension. He likes to tie me up so i can't run away. I love having rope on me, especially on my boobs. There was a little bit of light impact play too, in the form of kicking and some breast "torture," as well as a crotch rope that kept driving me the good kind of crazy. He left my hands free so i could touch and move as necessary. I always enjoy my scenes with Curtis. My only regret was that there was only time for one scene with him.
The rest of my Friday was spent socializing, running around, causing mischief and watching other scenes.
Saturday;...
My next scene, on Saturday involved some stuff i forgot i pre-negoatiated. That is always fun. Guess what i fucking *forgot* i pre-negoaiated? **Stun guns and fear play.** Who does that?! I do that. I've had some of my most memorable and most intense scenes with @Lynk and this was no exception. I love my scene warm ups with @Lynk, it's assuring to know that the person that is about to do horrible things to me still does like me as a person and wants to make me feel good and reasonably safe before taring it all down. After warm up, he pulled out the knives and does what he usually does with them, threatening and grazing the metal over my skin, pressing against pressure points, generally being a sadistic man. After some of that he looked down at me and asked if i wanted to try something new, i shook my head yes. "Stay here," he ran his fingers through my hair and went to turn off the lights. I couldn't see in the dark, but i wasn't prepared for what was coming. The crack of a stun gun lit up the room for a second. I felt my heart start to race in my chest. He came closer but i wouldn't run, i wasn't afraid. I was scared, but not afraid. I don't run, i don't cry, at least not until the very end.. He got closer and set the stun gun off again. I jumped. It went on like this for a while, until he climbed on top of me, i struggle, and he talks about all the places on my body he could set the stun gun off in; my collar, arcing between my pinky toe, my pinky finger and a host of other places i can't seem to recall. I remember he climbed on top of me and grabbed my hair, "Stick out your tongue." I clamp my mouth shut and shake my head no.. He only has to ask one more time. I know him, nothing good will happen to me if i don't give in to his demands... He goes to put the stun gun down and i tear up. It's over. I wasn't actually hit with the stun gun during the scene. I'm sure that's coming later because he got himself with it, @-Kamm- with it and @Liberteeny with it. I'm the only one left! After the stun gun is away we do a bit of after care and turn things more towards the intimate side, it's good.
My second scene of the day was with the very handsome @Silver-Switch. We'd arranged to test out flogging for me since i've been very anxious to try it out. Thuddy seems to be more my style for longer playing, whereas stingy will give me shorter but more intense scenes. @Silver-Switch has these two wonderful black leather floggers that are amazing. I enjoyed the experience immensely and look forward trying them out again. There was a lot of ass smacking, @Silver-Switch would go back and forth from stingy to thuddy and move around all the areas of my body. There was even boobie flogging! I liked it. I had welts on my ass, that's never happened before.
My third scene saturday night was fun. I spent some time beforehand hanging out with awesome peoples and eating pizza that @M0co found somewhere. I spent a ton of time with @HarshJudgement, @Beemo and @M0co, and i always appreciate when they let me follow them around like the puppy that i am. @M0co went off to wrestle some guy and i was going to observe with @HarshJudgement. We never really ended up locating the wrestling and ended up doing a bit of our own thing.
Move onto the rope scene with @HarshJudgement. Earlier in the day we'd been joking about something paddle and spanking related that would come back to bite me in the ass, literally. He started off putting me in a rope corset, which was fun. I ended up in a hog tie with my hands and wrists bound to my collar. It was hot. The spanking implements of choice were an empty water bottle and hands. I'm not generally into spanking, the stingy isn't something i really tend to go for, but with my panties still on it was totally hot and really enjoyable. Also, i'd do it again. We're both apparently cuddle sluts so @HarshJudgement and i lounged around and chewed on each other for a while watching @M0co and @Beemo do their two person penetrative sex suspension. I bite. A lot.
Sunday;..
"Meet me in the lobby at 2. I'll be waiting." A text from @Lynk. I'd had my last official scene planned with him to try out yet another new thing... Needle play. I'm still not sure what possessed me to go "oh yes Mr. Sadist, please stick me with pointy things" because that is *very* unlike me but i did it anyway. I trust @Lynk, a lot. @-Kamm- trusts @Lynk with me as well, his life partner @Ever is one of my best friends in the scene and a mentor to me.
I meet @Lynk in the lobby, @-Kamm- sees me off, i whimper. We go down to the dungeon which is open earlier in the day. He already has most of the area prepped. We walk over to a spanking bench, i removed my shirt but not my bra at his direction. We begun by finishing prepping the area and my skin. He puts on his gloves. I've spent the last few months researching superficial needle play, and working in the medical field for a while i know about all the fun shit that happens and all the bad shit that happens.
The needles are small, the first stick i don't even feel, but that's really the only thing i don't feel. Each subsequent stick raises the intensity. I end up with 6 needles in my upper back, three per side in varying tissue depths. They're all tripple stuck (must protect the top ;) with the very tips buried in my skin. Then it gets interesting. "You'll need to take your bra off so we don't get blood on it when we take the needles out." Yeah, so much easier said than done. I try to lift myself up off the spanking bench and fail the first time. The feeling of the needles is strange. I eventually manage to lift myself up off the furniture and @Lynk helps me undo my bra. After that's out of the way he does terrible things to me. Smacking my back on top of the needles, making me lift my arms and hold them out, repositioning them. It's intense. I cry. A lot. It's good, because i'd wanted to cry. I specifically asked him to make me cry because crying feels good. Eventually we have to remove the needles. "Would you like me to just take them out, or would you like more marks?" He asks. "Will it hurt more for marks?" "Not by much." Don't trust a sadist kids, just don't. ;) . He turns each needle so that the tip is facing up towards the outside of my skin and drags them out. I scream for each one, but then it's over. The needles are out but i'm a very selfish submissive sometimes and i want more. I ask for knives when initial aftercare is over and i can actually stand up. It took a while, i'm not sure my body likes superficial needle play but my brain enjoys it which means it wins any arguments my body may have.
@Lynk cleans the area and we go to a table not far away, i sit after he puts a few chux down. I lay back. He's pulled out some of his knives. I love knife play, especially with him. He's very good at what he does and he always seems to push me just the right amount during our scenes. We're in a hallway and classes are going on near us. He runs the knife around my body and i yell out. "Don't do that... Your job is to be quiet" or some variation is spoken to me. "If you make a noise I'm going to hurt you." I try my best to keep quiet, but i'm not a quiet player, especially not with him. Not with the knives. He puts one of the blade of the knife to my throat, i relax instantly. A swipe of the knife around my breast and i scream again. This time he puts his hand on my mouth, then his other hand over my nose. I see how much it pleases him to see the panic rise in my eyes as i struggle to breathe. I like breath play and breath control, he knows. I'm eventually aloud to breathe again. One of the punnishments for me making so much noise is taken out on my right hand on the thumb webbing. I'm still not good at staying quiet. He comes up with another idea, "Let's play tic-tac-toe..." I look at him, i know what's coming, i'm laying face up. He started drawing the board into the area below my breasts. I was X's, he was O's. I'm informed of another mistake, i should have chosen O's as he just wants to get my move out of the way. He carves the plays into the bored. On the third move in i forget the location of the pieces. He re-etches the entire bored, i scream a lot i think. He won, unsurprisingly.
I have a bruise on my right thigh from him the night before, a bite through my jeans. "You know how much I like symmetry." He bites my left thigh. I whimper and carry on. "Still not symmetrical enough, you see how that one spreads more?" I know this is going to hurt. He bites down, hard, next to the bruise he just left and i shriek. Then i start to panic, then i start to hyperventilate. He calms me down, "Are you done?" I just nod my head yes and we go on to aftercare.
*.. Some of the events in the above scene might not be in exact order.. I tend to forget or mismatch things during more intense scenes.
Sometime after that @-Kamm- and i get to spend some time together and reconnect. It's nice and sweet but short because we both need to relax. He's got other scenes planned for the evening.
The rest of my Sunday night was spent in the dungeons watching prep for @Lynk's wing scene. I didn't even realize when @-Kamm-'s abduction broke into the room. I should have run, that was really my only regret, not leaving that room. Watching him get brutalized is very difficult for me, i often end up feeling very conflicted and emotionally vulnerable afterwords because he's so important to me. I can watch almost every other kind of scene he does (bottom or top) for, but the hard impact stuff is the worst. I stay with friends and look away just trying to piece together what is going on by the reaction of the crowd that had formed around the mats. Eventually his scene is over and he's ok.
The rest of the night is spent wandering around the play spaces saying hello to everyone and catching up on conversation with friends, cuddling and generally relaxing. I also got to watch a very sexy wax scene with @SirRonC and @Liberteeny. I kind of want to try wax play now too...
---
All in all, Winter Fire was wonderful. I allowed others to push me and pushed myself in ways i'd never thought possible. I tend to turn very few things down because i've found some of my favorite things are the things that i am most afraid of. I think that is why fear play resonates so well with me. I may expand this a little more, but i feel like it's pretty thorough. Of the things i regret, it's really only not having more time and scenes planned with @-Kamm- and making better use of my time. I feel like i could have fit a few more scenes in that would have really given me something to think about but there's always Fusion...
Thanks for reading.
I think Winter Fire was a culminating event for me. Kamm routinely points out that almost every scene i do pushes my own personal boundaries, and for some reason i don't actually think about that a lot. I haven't even been here for a year, i entered the scene on May 21, 2011, Kamms birthday. I was afraid of everything! I was afraid of the doorbell that Kamm rang to get us into the PlayHouse that very first time, so scared i jumped and knocked into the trashcans at the door and scared myself *again*. Now look at me. I'm a badass. But not as badass as Kamm... He got fucking abducted.
Winter Fire gave me a lot of input on the direction in which i'd like to grow as a submissive. I still see myself as a submissive (with a curious, sly, bratty side) and maybe a little toppy, for rope especially, but the type of play i'd like to get into is a lot clearer now. I want to be pushed, hard. This is going to be choppy and it might be hard to read. Please let me know if you need clarification.
---
WinterFire started off with our room mates @COLOR and @Crosswords giving me a call that the overflow2 hotel could not find our registrations. After going back to the website and re-checking, i was delightfully surprised to find that we were in the host hotel! Yay! Room 911, it was the source of a few jokes over the weekend. It was *so* wonderful to find out we were in the host and not the overflow. We will be paying to be in the host EVERY year from now on. There is no other way. We took the metro down so we didn't have to worry about a car. THAT was also a great plan. I'd love to plan a little carpooling next year to let more people take advantage of that. The only issue is you have to pack LIGHT!
Friday;..
Friday was great, we arrived right after @TheHammer, @Perfectly_Bound and @Lochai. Saw @CurtisMercury and @BettyRage. Got molested a bit while checking in, can't go wrong with that. After that Kamm and i zoomed up to the room to shower and change real quick before going down to registration.
My first scene of the night was with @CurtisMercury. It was awesome. My boobs were really sensitive so we went with some breast bondage and i suppose what would be a partial suspension. He likes to tie me up so i can't run away. I love having rope on me, especially on my boobs. There was a little bit of light impact play too, in the form of kicking and some breast "torture," as well as a crotch rope that kept driving me the good kind of crazy. He left my hands free so i could touch and move as necessary. I always enjoy my scenes with Curtis. My only regret was that there was only time for one scene with him.
The rest of my Friday was spent socializing, running around, causing mischief and watching other scenes.
Saturday;...
My next scene, on Saturday involved some stuff i forgot i pre-negoatiated. That is always fun. Guess what i fucking *forgot* i pre-negoaiated? **Stun guns and fear play.** Who does that?! I do that. I've had some of my most memorable and most intense scenes with @Lynk and this was no exception. I love my scene warm ups with @Lynk, it's assuring to know that the person that is about to do horrible things to me still does like me as a person and wants to make me feel good and reasonably safe before taring it all down. After warm up, he pulled out the knives and does what he usually does with them, threatening and grazing the metal over my skin, pressing against pressure points, generally being a sadistic man. After some of that he looked down at me and asked if i wanted to try something new, i shook my head yes. "Stay here," he ran his fingers through my hair and went to turn off the lights. I couldn't see in the dark, but i wasn't prepared for what was coming. The crack of a stun gun lit up the room for a second. I felt my heart start to race in my chest. He came closer but i wouldn't run, i wasn't afraid. I was scared, but not afraid. I don't run, i don't cry, at least not until the very end.. He got closer and set the stun gun off again. I jumped. It went on like this for a while, until he climbed on top of me, i struggle, and he talks about all the places on my body he could set the stun gun off in; my collar, arcing between my pinky toe, my pinky finger and a host of other places i can't seem to recall. I remember he climbed on top of me and grabbed my hair, "Stick out your tongue." I clamp my mouth shut and shake my head no.. He only has to ask one more time. I know him, nothing good will happen to me if i don't give in to his demands... He goes to put the stun gun down and i tear up. It's over. I wasn't actually hit with the stun gun during the scene. I'm sure that's coming later because he got himself with it, @-Kamm- with it and @Liberteeny with it. I'm the only one left! After the stun gun is away we do a bit of after care and turn things more towards the intimate side, it's good.
My second scene of the day was with the very handsome @Silver-Switch. We'd arranged to test out flogging for me since i've been very anxious to try it out. Thuddy seems to be more my style for longer playing, whereas stingy will give me shorter but more intense scenes. @Silver-Switch has these two wonderful black leather floggers that are amazing. I enjoyed the experience immensely and look forward trying them out again. There was a lot of ass smacking, @Silver-Switch would go back and forth from stingy to thuddy and move around all the areas of my body. There was even boobie flogging! I liked it. I had welts on my ass, that's never happened before.
My third scene saturday night was fun. I spent some time beforehand hanging out with awesome peoples and eating pizza that @M0co found somewhere. I spent a ton of time with @HarshJudgement, @Beemo and @M0co, and i always appreciate when they let me follow them around like the puppy that i am. @M0co went off to wrestle some guy and i was going to observe with @HarshJudgement. We never really ended up locating the wrestling and ended up doing a bit of our own thing.
Move onto the rope scene with @HarshJudgement. Earlier in the day we'd been joking about something paddle and spanking related that would come back to bite me in the ass, literally. He started off putting me in a rope corset, which was fun. I ended up in a hog tie with my hands and wrists bound to my collar. It was hot. The spanking implements of choice were an empty water bottle and hands. I'm not generally into spanking, the stingy isn't something i really tend to go for, but with my panties still on it was totally hot and really enjoyable. Also, i'd do it again. We're both apparently cuddle sluts so @HarshJudgement and i lounged around and chewed on each other for a while watching @M0co and @Beemo do their two person penetrative sex suspension. I bite. A lot.
Sunday;..
"Meet me in the lobby at 2. I'll be waiting." A text from @Lynk. I'd had my last official scene planned with him to try out yet another new thing... Needle play. I'm still not sure what possessed me to go "oh yes Mr. Sadist, please stick me with pointy things" because that is *very* unlike me but i did it anyway. I trust @Lynk, a lot. @-Kamm- trusts @Lynk with me as well, his life partner @Ever is one of my best friends in the scene and a mentor to me.
I meet @Lynk in the lobby, @-Kamm- sees me off, i whimper. We go down to the dungeon which is open earlier in the day. He already has most of the area prepped. We walk over to a spanking bench, i removed my shirt but not my bra at his direction. We begun by finishing prepping the area and my skin. He puts on his gloves. I've spent the last few months researching superficial needle play, and working in the medical field for a while i know about all the fun shit that happens and all the bad shit that happens.
The needles are small, the first stick i don't even feel, but that's really the only thing i don't feel. Each subsequent stick raises the intensity. I end up with 6 needles in my upper back, three per side in varying tissue depths. They're all tripple stuck (must protect the top ;) with the very tips buried in my skin. Then it gets interesting. "You'll need to take your bra off so we don't get blood on it when we take the needles out." Yeah, so much easier said than done. I try to lift myself up off the spanking bench and fail the first time. The feeling of the needles is strange. I eventually manage to lift myself up off the furniture and @Lynk helps me undo my bra. After that's out of the way he does terrible things to me. Smacking my back on top of the needles, making me lift my arms and hold them out, repositioning them. It's intense. I cry. A lot. It's good, because i'd wanted to cry. I specifically asked him to make me cry because crying feels good. Eventually we have to remove the needles. "Would you like me to just take them out, or would you like more marks?" He asks. "Will it hurt more for marks?" "Not by much." Don't trust a sadist kids, just don't. ;) . He turns each needle so that the tip is facing up towards the outside of my skin and drags them out. I scream for each one, but then it's over. The needles are out but i'm a very selfish submissive sometimes and i want more. I ask for knives when initial aftercare is over and i can actually stand up. It took a while, i'm not sure my body likes superficial needle play but my brain enjoys it which means it wins any arguments my body may have.
@Lynk cleans the area and we go to a table not far away, i sit after he puts a few chux down. I lay back. He's pulled out some of his knives. I love knife play, especially with him. He's very good at what he does and he always seems to push me just the right amount during our scenes. We're in a hallway and classes are going on near us. He runs the knife around my body and i yell out. "Don't do that... Your job is to be quiet" or some variation is spoken to me. "If you make a noise I'm going to hurt you." I try my best to keep quiet, but i'm not a quiet player, especially not with him. Not with the knives. He puts one of the blade of the knife to my throat, i relax instantly. A swipe of the knife around my breast and i scream again. This time he puts his hand on my mouth, then his other hand over my nose. I see how much it pleases him to see the panic rise in my eyes as i struggle to breathe. I like breath play and breath control, he knows. I'm eventually aloud to breathe again. One of the punnishments for me making so much noise is taken out on my right hand on the thumb webbing. I'm still not good at staying quiet. He comes up with another idea, "Let's play tic-tac-toe..." I look at him, i know what's coming, i'm laying face up. He started drawing the board into the area below my breasts. I was X's, he was O's. I'm informed of another mistake, i should have chosen O's as he just wants to get my move out of the way. He carves the plays into the bored. On the third move in i forget the location of the pieces. He re-etches the entire bored, i scream a lot i think. He won, unsurprisingly.
I have a bruise on my right thigh from him the night before, a bite through my jeans. "You know how much I like symmetry." He bites my left thigh. I whimper and carry on. "Still not symmetrical enough, you see how that one spreads more?" I know this is going to hurt. He bites down, hard, next to the bruise he just left and i shriek. Then i start to panic, then i start to hyperventilate. He calms me down, "Are you done?" I just nod my head yes and we go on to aftercare.
*.. Some of the events in the above scene might not be in exact order.. I tend to forget or mismatch things during more intense scenes.
Sometime after that @-Kamm- and i get to spend some time together and reconnect. It's nice and sweet but short because we both need to relax. He's got other scenes planned for the evening.
The rest of my Sunday night was spent in the dungeons watching prep for @Lynk's wing scene. I didn't even realize when @-Kamm-'s abduction broke into the room. I should have run, that was really my only regret, not leaving that room. Watching him get brutalized is very difficult for me, i often end up feeling very conflicted and emotionally vulnerable afterwords because he's so important to me. I can watch almost every other kind of scene he does (bottom or top) for, but the hard impact stuff is the worst. I stay with friends and look away just trying to piece together what is going on by the reaction of the crowd that had formed around the mats. Eventually his scene is over and he's ok.
The rest of the night is spent wandering around the play spaces saying hello to everyone and catching up on conversation with friends, cuddling and generally relaxing. I also got to watch a very sexy wax scene with @SirRonC and @Liberteeny. I kind of want to try wax play now too...
---
All in all, Winter Fire was wonderful. I allowed others to push me and pushed myself in ways i'd never thought possible. I tend to turn very few things down because i've found some of my favorite things are the things that i am most afraid of. I think that is why fear play resonates so well with me. I may expand this a little more, but i feel like it's pretty thorough. Of the things i regret, it's really only not having more time and scenes planned with @-Kamm- and making better use of my time. I feel like i could have fit a few more scenes in that would have really given me something to think about but there's always Fusion...
Thanks for reading.
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