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Showing posts with the label abuse

How You Can Help: some suggestions to make a difference in light of what has been going on in the scene.

*Note this was originally written January 2018, and was based on writings on fetlife.com at the time. *  How you can help instead of harm. A few key points to countering abuse, shitty behavior and making the scene (and the world) a better place. Discussions, writings upon writings upon writings on K&P, tears, heartfelt conversations, getting anxious on twitter (that last one is me), but what can we do to attempt to make improvements? Call out your friends. It doesn’t have to be publicly and it doesn’t have to be loudly. But if you see your friend do something shitty, or say something then. Something as simple as “Wow, that was shitty, why would you say that?” or “That wasn’t nice, you shouldn’t say that or do that to someone.” Will go a long way. It allows the group of people you’re in to also feel compelled to speak up. The bystander effect is real. When I started calling out the behavior of my relatives at holiday gatherings, shit got a lot better for everyone. And it ...

My feelings on 50 Shades of Gray

Plumbat is a friend of mine and her words on 50 SoG sum up my thoughts and feelings perfectly. You can read her full blog entry here , I would highly recommend it.  The relationship between the two main characters is abusive. It’s characterized by manipulation, misuse of power, emotional coercion, and disregard for consent. Christian Gray is a goddamn textbook on how to be a terrible dominant and a terrible partner in general. It’s a travesty that their relationship is being portrayed as a romance, rather than as a cautionary tale.