Big Coyote Energy

So.. Winter Fire is coming up. I'm purposefully not planning much other than my classes and maybe one scene with someone who actually has stuff to do. But i'd like to play with others... maybe. I don't know. Mostly i'll be playing with people i've played with before. How do you pickup play? I feel like i'm trying to do calculus when all i've completed is trig. I must be missing something integral or else this wouldn't be so.. bad. I am terriblebad at pick up play. Horriblebad. I forget to communicate something important, i try to play when i don't feel a connection, i give people the benefit of the doubt. They can't read me, they don't know me, i can't explain it to them. Those are the reasons i've effectively stopped doing pickup play. I think part of my problem is that i'm a submissive. I don't top people, even really for demos (although i can). It isn't where my heart is. People either 1. don't see me play or ...