Big Coyote Energy

 I was crying in my sleep again. I was crying when I woke up.  --- If you’re looking for a fun, sexy, kinky writing, this is not it. I won’t blame anyone for opting out 30 seconds or even half way through. I just.. Feel like I need to get this out, or else I’ll be doomed to keep talking about it individually (or just shutting down) with people and I don’t have the energy for that.  This is full of trauma, and parental death.  I think.. I just want people to understand why.. I’m a mess.  Or why my memory is terrible. Or why I’m in so much pain. Or why I’m so sad. Or why I’m not at X thing. Or why I’m quiet. Or why I lose time. Or forget people.  I’m gonna try a time line bullet list.. I’m NOT looking for ANY kind of suggestions for how to deal with any of this. **NO ADVICE. NONE**. I don’t even know if I’ll go re-read this or do anything past read comments once. I might even delete it. WHO KNOWS. I’m not making any promises. **Don’t PM me about it**.  -...