Big Coyote Energy

I'm a masochist. That term seems to create a lot of confusion for people, although i'm not exactly sure why. Masochism is in our acronym; BDSM. Bondage. Domination. Sadism. Masochism. It's right there. It's a readily available label in our list of labels on Fetlife (the same can't be said for other labels i'm fond of, like three-hole-fucktoy). So why is it so hard to understand what a masochist is when this term specifically is everywhere? A masochist commonly defined as a person who gets pleasure from pain. There are varying types of masochism, like physical masochism, sexual masochism and emotional masochism. But they all stem from the same time; pain leads to pleasure. I'm often asked "You're a masochist, right? So if I hurt you, you'll cum from it?" And the answer, to their surprise is always no. I don't orgasm from pain. It's just not how my sexual response cycle works. I eventually get pleasure from pain sensation, but i s...

It's gonna get fucked, i don't *really* have a choice*. And it isn't just going to get fucked, it's going to get raped. Or something. I don't know. All i know is i want to make this experience as easy as possible. Considering the last time i had something in my butt that wasn't my plug was probably 2011, i'm out of practice. Things i know: * Lube * Lube * Lube * Patience * Lube * Relax * Lube * oh and lube. * maybe more lube * enema? * lube * also, lube The 12-15 times i've tried to have buttsex the way 'you're supposed' to has always been fucking uncomfortable. My ass doesn't stretch, or i'm not doing it right. Forplay - check. Relaxed-check. Sometimes alcohol (on my end) - check. Butplug - check. I have TWO buttplugs in two different sizes! One that takes me 30 minutes to get in. It's an NJOY MEDIUM. It isn't like im trying to stuff the [Great American Challenge][http://www.amazon.com/Doc-Johnson-Great-Americ...

I won't make out with you because i don't want to *give the wrong impression*. I won't make out with you because i consider that a very close intimate act and prefer only to do it with those i have plans on getting more intimate with later. I feel that lately people have been misconstruing my actions, and my words, and it is something i've found rather unsettling. People making up relationships when there are none, or assuming friendships when (to me) i clearly would have not used that label. I try to be clear. Sometimes to the point of being offensive, with my words, my sentences, my syntax, to make sure my exact, actual point gets across. I don't play with peoples' emotions. I don't sit here, planning on harming people. I'm a physical masochist not an emotional sadist. I have triggers, fears and issues just like everyone else, i don't think i'm exempt from being told i'm acting like an ass, or genuinely apologizing for my behavior o...

I know i've addressed this before, but this is the new topic of interest flying around the fetlife, so i figured i would address it. I know i have other things i need to write about (hello Charm City Fetish Fair) but i'll get to those next week. Lets talk about safe words. We'll start with a basic definition. A "safe word" is a word or phrase than when said in the context of a BDSM scene, will stop the scene. This can be something general like "red" or it can be something that would not generally come up in the context of a scene ie "fruit basket" "platypus" or "Fluggaenkoecchicebolsen." Words like "no" "stop" and "oh fuck" are poor choices for safe words, as they are generally uttered during scenes anyway. In theory they sound like a great idea. Of course safe words have their place in the context of BDSM. The problem with them is twofold. 1. Safe wording can be seen as a "...

Day 9: Post a kink related song or music video you enjoy. Copping out on this one, because i literally don't have one. Rhianna's S&M is the only BDSM related song that i know about. So... We'll go with that one? SURE. Day 10: What are your hard limits? There we go, something i can actually talk about. Hard limits...Hmmm... I've actually got a writing on this.  I break my limits up into two kinds of limits: soft limits and hard limits. Soft limits are things i'll consider doing with specific people, but not things i'm really into. Hard limits are the NOPES of my BDSM life. Hard Limits: The "usuals" (scat/children/animals/amputation/death) Oral sex related extreme gagging/vomit. Anything vomit related. Ingesting things not meant for human consumption. Electrocution/electric play involving piercings or insertable items (piercings, butt plugs, etc). The use or insertion of speculums. This includes oral/spider gags. Drowning Fire play T...