Big Coyote Energy

I've always wanted D/s. I identify as a sadomasochist because it's easier than actually admitting that the number of people I would actually submit to is minuscule and most people just honestly don't fit the bill. Doing the 'polite female' thing is just better for everyone. Then I met someone. Whom I told over and over "I'm not emotionally available." "I'm broken." "You should find someone less damaged." "You're too nice to deal with this much baggage." Because pushing away someone who was genuinely nice to me, and interested in me, was  easier  than facing my feelings about what had been going on in my life, and what I wanted out of my life and what I would have to go through to be able to trust a new person in my life. He didn't leave. He sat with me while I cried, this mostly-stranger. He bought me dinner. He let me cry on him. He didn't question me when my social anxiety and general I'm-still-w...