Big Coyote Energy

Warning: This is insanely long. "Play Hard or Go Home" was my fusion motto. No offense to those who don't want to play hard or who did go home, this was just my personal thing. I wanted to push myself to my limit, and basically got there. Summing up DOFusion13 in numbers; 1 hole. 1 shovel. 1 bucket. 1 sprained rib. 1 bottle of alcohol. 1 box. 1 gift. 1 hit to the face. 2 punches to the chest. 2 cigar socials. 3 fireballs. 4 partners. 6 great meals with friends. 14 strips of bacon. 43 bruises. Countless bites. Countless screams. Countless orgasms. Countless tears. Countless friends. I stole this layout from @Harley_Quinzel. I loved the idea and it really helped me organize my thoughts into something coherent. Overview: DOFusion13 was amazing. I was surrounded, every moment by people who love me and care about me. I got to spend more time with my sadist than ever before. I got to present Daddy with the gift i've been planning for months (with t...

At least i didn't think i was. Because i'm not. I'm not supposed to be... In the last couple of months, the way i play has been changing.  I'm not supposed to be like this. Masochism goes against everything i understand about my existence. I'm hypersensitive.  Pain has always been part of a negative reinforcement loop. "If it feels bad, don't do it." It's like the fundamental law of my universe, followed quickly by "if it feels good, do it." While the mix up in interpretation isn't new, the realization of it is. I tend to play with partners who have a serious sadistic streak. If you would have asked me even a year ago if i could change the way i interpret sensation on this level, i would have thought you were clinically insane. I've been flirting with the idea of masochism, mostly as a a joke because look at me, i can't handle anything. I'm a self-described pansy. Tickling is on my hard limits list because it hurts. ...

This is probably going to encompass a lot of things other than *just* went on a Winter Fire. I think Winter Fire was a culminating event for me. Kamm routinely points out that almost every scene i do pushes my own personal boundaries, and for some reason i don't actually think about that a lot. I haven't even been here for a year, i entered the scene on May 21, 2011, Kamms birthday. I was afraid of everything! I was afraid of the doorbell that Kamm rang to get us into the PlayHouse that very first time, so scared i jumped and knocked into the trashcans at the door and scared myself *again*. Now look at me. I'm a badass. But not as badass as Kamm... He got fucking abducted. Winter Fire gave me a lot of input on the direction in which i'd like to grow as a submissive. I still see myself as a submissive (with a curious, sly, bratty side) and maybe a little toppy, for rope especially, but the type of play i'd like to get into is a lot clearer now. I want...

I thought I'd take this opportunity to wish those of you in the USA a Happy Thanksgiving, or happy pre-Thanksgiving. Please be safe and responsible, Thanksgiving is the most traveled holiday in the US and there are lots of drunk people.  Friends don't let friends drink and drive, right? :3 Kamm and I celebrated my birthday yesterday and today (since my birthday actually falls the day after Thanksgiving this year, and I hate celebrating it then because no one is ever around).  Kamm spent the last few months making a wonderful birthday weekend for me. There was an incredible co-topping knife threesome scene-thing between him and a friend of ours (whose wonderful life partner gave him the ok to do this).  I was blindfolded for most of it but there were many pokes and prods and bites and squeals. I love knives, so this was absolutely wonderful for me. The next day Kamm took me out and surprised me with a visit from my oldest male friend (OMG We've known each other for OVE...