Big Coyote Energy

I won't make out with you because i don't want to *give the wrong impression*. I won't make out with you because i consider that a very close intimate act and prefer only to do it with those i have plans on getting more intimate with later. I feel that lately people have been misconstruing my actions, and my words, and it is something i've found rather unsettling. People making up relationships when there are none, or assuming friendships when (to me) i clearly would have not used that label. I try to be clear. Sometimes to the point of being offensive, with my words, my sentences, my syntax, to make sure my exact, actual point gets across. I don't play with peoples' emotions. I don't sit here, planning on harming people. I'm a physical masochist not an emotional sadist. I have triggers, fears and issues just like everyone else, i don't think i'm exempt from being told i'm acting like an ass, or genuinely apologizing for my behavior o...

The problem with drama isn't that it exists. Drama is drama, it sucks, it's annoying, it happens. This we know. Think about the scene as a conveyer belt. Something happens at some point on the belt, people freak out, yell, scream, divide, do whatever it is that they do, and then they move on. As new people get into the scene (or hop onto the conveyer belt) they begin to hear bits and pieces of the old stories and the old drama, but they can't access the old part of the conveyer belt. They can't see the actual happenings for themselves. But they begin to form opinions based on hearsay or partial facts, or worse, get shrouded under the influence wings of the people who have "caused problems" before and are changing the stories to make themselves no longer the villain. I have read no less than 3 writings today alone on issues that are (to the best of my knowledge, and my knowledge is pretty fucking extensive) absolute idiocy at worst and grossly misinformed a...

I've got a lot of things milling around my mostly mushy brain right now.  I had a very intense rope scene last night with a wonderful rigger and it's no small matter my brain is still off, but unusually sharp today. I talk to a lot of conventionally thinking single men and women about why I am in an open relationship. Almost none of them get why and that's alright. It took me years to get to where I am today and every day has been a journey where I have learned something be it good or bad about myself and others. There have been a lot of ups, a lot of downs and a lot of situations where I've cried either for joy, or shame.  I'd like to talk about my personal journey to non-monogamy. In any of my past relationships, a non monogamous commitment would have never worked because neither I nor my partners trusted each other enough to allow this to happen. I've dated good guys, I've dated jealous guys I've dated immature guys, but none of them were right f...

I've actually seen this website before, and thought it was a good resource.  It's been updated since I last saw it as well.  The Polyamoury Resource . I'll show you a little tidbit from the site. Take a look, it's good, I promise. But if you love someone, you shouldn't want anyone else. That's a common idea, but it doesn't really hold up in practice. Many people believe that a person who has multiple loves can't give their "whole heart" to any person. The belief goes that if you love one person, you can express your love wholeheartedly, but if you love multiple people, your love is divided up and is therefore not as deep. This is based on the "starvation model" of love--that is, you only have a limited amount of love, and if you give your love to one person, there is none left to give to anyone else--so if you fall in love with another person, you have to "pay" for it by withdrawing your love from the first perso...

 Before I lay down a tale here, I should mention that this is the infamous D.  Not the also infamous Jaine, but the guy who is tied to her in her tales of hedonism. That out of the way, I would like to share an experience that I think would be helpful here. Jaine and I, as you faithful readers here know, have partners that we see on a regular basis. That also said, an update is warranted here. Reason being, there is a situation that I think all can learn from. So here it goes: Before I lay down the story, I should mention that Jaine and I have different tastes when it comes to our partners. She seems to enjoy the more physical aspects of the lifestyle than I do. A kind of fuck buddy deal. Where I enjoy a more romantic side of dating outside of our partnership. It is a fact that we are very aware of, as well as a fact that we are very good at compartmentalizing. We know that while she is happy having her fun in her way, I have fun in mine. The relevance to my tale is that...

 I came across this Ask Amy article and it made me chuckle a bit, because this really does happen.  I'm sure that D and I have lost friends because of our relationship type.  That's why I blog about it, to put a few more drops of information into the sea of knowledge that is the internets. Dear Amy: My husband and I became friends with a couple a little over a year ago. We had some nice times together, including dinners, movies, etc. They are very nice, own a lovely home and have two beautiful children who seem well cared for. Well, recently this very nice couple informed us that they are "swingers"! To say that my husband and I were shocked is an understatement. My husband and I have decided that we will no longer socialize with them, because we feel so strongly about their lifestyle. My question is why? Why would a married couple who claim they love each other have sex with other people? Amy says: I shared your letter with Peter Sagal, author of ...

Additional relevant entries will be landing shortly. I'm updaing everyone to remind them of the 1003 pageview kiriban -- see the entry and rules here . I read a fantastic article in the Washington Post today about the phenomenon known as "Slut Walks." They are a new type of grass roots feminist movement (and I do love me some nice, rational feminists). I'll post the entire article down below because I hate when I find things 4 years later and none of the links work anymore.  All the links located in the original article are here as well.  Please disregard the formatting what-the-fuckery, blogger is not enjoying quoting walls of text that will crit you for over 9000. The full original Washington Post article can be found here . SlutWalks and the future of feminism   By Jessica Valenti, Published: June 3       More than 40 years after feminists tossed their bras and high heels into a trash can at the 1968 Miss America pag...

Screen shot from American Dad So... it's the 22nd and we're all still here. Tisk tisk tisk Harold, I'm pretty sure it's a sin in your ridiculous religion to lie about the coming of Jesus. Now Harold Camping has run off. Probably out of shame or perhaps he just wants us to think he was the only one raptured... I'm not buying your bullshit Harold, because it doesn't pass the bullshit test. If it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck and walks like a duck, you can be sure that you're a crock pot. I made rapture cookies from regular chocolate chip cookies, you are all welcome to one, or four, since you SURVIVED THE RAPTURE! :D And, if you like commemorative t-shirts, you will love these: Rapture Survivalware .

I will be the first person to admit swinging is not for every person or every relationship.  Any relationship I was involved in before D would not have been a relationship where swinging would have worked--That's ok! Swinging is a MAGNIFIER. This means that if your relationship is stable, swinging may enhance it. If your relationship is not stable, swinging will destroy it.  There are a hundred and one reasons that someone would decide not to swing. Originally, I was not a swinger.  I had some moral implications and personal implications I had to figure out before I was able to accept the fact that this is something normal people do, and it's ok if I do it too. I've basically been an atheist since I was 7, so I'm not entirely sure if one thing (religious orientation) and swinging (sexual lifestyle) have anything to do with each other.  Most of the swingers D and I know are religious in some way, most of them are actually Pagan or Wiccan, but we have spoken to...