Before I lay down a tale here, I should mention that this is the infamous D. Not the also infamous Jaine, but the guy who is tied to her in her tales of hedonism.
That out of the way, I would like to share an experience that I think would be helpful here.
Jaine and I, as you faithful readers here know, have partners that we see on a regular basis. That also said, an update is warranted here. Reason being, there is a situation that I think all can learn from. So here it goes:
Before I lay down the story, I should mention that Jaine and I have different tastes when it comes to our partners. She seems to enjoy the more physical aspects of the lifestyle than I do. A kind of fuck buddy deal. Where I enjoy a more romantic side of dating outside of our partnership. It is a fact that we are very aware of, as well as a fact that we are very good at compartmentalizing. We know that while she is happy having her fun in her way, I have fun in mine. The relevance to my tale is that my taste in romanticism can come at a price.
I met a wonderful and highly attractive guy through the lucrative website OKCupid.com. He actually messaged me, which came as a shock to me due to the fact that he was just...retardedly hot! And I don't mean regular man hot. I mean super model proportions! The kid is finer than most women. No bullshit, I thought he was a woman until I inevitably took a look at his info. I think we guys are all about the pics.
Pics > Info
Pigish but true.
Jaine and I are very alike when it comes to our taste in the same sex. We are very picky. Me? I happen to be attracted to guys who are on the effeminate side. Which is to say guys who shave their legs as much as women do. Well this particular piece of man candy not only shaved everything everyday, he dressed better than probably any woman I have ever met. No matter what he was out doing, he was always tarted up and dressed to kill. He might sound vain(and he certainly is) but he lacks the arrogance and narcissism you would expect from someone as undeniably gorgeous as him. However, his appearance really is just scratching the surface of who he is. What makes him even more attractive aside from his appearance is that he is just so damned fun to be around. Everyone I introduced him to in my life have been so utterly charmed by him. Jaine loves him. My other partner that I have seen for over a year, adores him. Even conservative friends of mine enjoy having him around.
No shit about it, he turned out to be the epitome of what I want in lover as well as a friend.
Anyways, we had a passion for each other that I didn't expect. My passion for him always did have a ceiling on it. The passion he had for me was a bit startling to say the least. Not unwelcome, but a bit concerning. After all, what else can I offer him than sex and friendship. A man in my position can only offer so much intimacy and attention to a lover such as him.
SO..a problem did surface. It was obvious that he was falling for me, and what worried me was that he didn't have the ceiling on his emotions that I had on mine.
To be clear; I am completely and totally Jaine's and always will be. He knows that, and never wanted to fuck with that. Reason being; he loves me. And that means that he loves us. Jaine and I. There is no separating us, as he knows very well and respects.
You guys might be wondering if I did the right thing, and encouraged him to date. To continue looking as it were. Well, I did. I'm not a complete asshole, but I won't deny that I was a tad jealous when he found inevitable lovers other than me. I did recognize it for what it was though, just my alpha male territorial side poking it's ugly head out.
So I left well enough alone and told him(even from the beginning) that I would always support his quest for someone that can offer him what I cannot. And the selfish side of me always wanted to keep him where he was. Available. Shitty, I know. But you have to understand that this was person is one hell of a find. He was near and dear to me and I was hesitant to let such a person go.
TONIGHT: After 7 months he found someone else.
We had THE TALK. I knew it was coming. He let me know that he was crushing on a friend of ours, and I encouraged it. Of course I did. How could I not? Selfishness aside, I care very much about him. Why would I try to deny him the chance at the very happiness that I fought so hard to find?
SO..At a pub that we met friends(including his new guy) for drinks, I noticed the tell tale signs of involvement between the new guy and my late lover. Seeing this I knew I was sort of..replaced. I kept my distance. It was hard, but at the same time...it seemed natural. I couldn't tell you why.
When my former love affair sat beside me, and told me that we needed to talk alone; I wasn't surprised or taken aback. I could tell that he wanted to delay it, but I insisted that we go talk. Sitting outside, he mumbled and stumbled over what he was trying to tell me. I said "Just say it." amicably. When he did..it was sort of a relief. For both of us. A relief for me that he wasn't so over the moon for me that he couldn't find someone he could build a relationship with. A relief for him because I think he thought I would be really upset and showed him quite the contrary.
See, we knew it was a parting of ways of a sort. Things between us would never be the same. We would never share the type of intimacy that we had any time soon, if ever again. And you know what? That was ok. God it hurt, but fuck. What were we doing anyways? Was I going to bottle him up and keep him to myself when I wanted him? He is too special for that. So I was big about it and congratulated him, kissed him goodbye, and told his new man later in the night that he never had to worry about duplicity when it came to him and I . That I was happy for them and a few other things that needed to be said.
This is the moral of the story kids: When you get involved with new folks in this lifestyle, you have to be ready to let go. Live and let live as the saying goes. I did, and I hope you will too...if you decide to open up your relationships and find yourself in my situation.
Thanks for listening,
Warm Regards,
D
That out of the way, I would like to share an experience that I think would be helpful here.
Jaine and I, as you faithful readers here know, have partners that we see on a regular basis. That also said, an update is warranted here. Reason being, there is a situation that I think all can learn from. So here it goes:
Before I lay down the story, I should mention that Jaine and I have different tastes when it comes to our partners. She seems to enjoy the more physical aspects of the lifestyle than I do. A kind of fuck buddy deal. Where I enjoy a more romantic side of dating outside of our partnership. It is a fact that we are very aware of, as well as a fact that we are very good at compartmentalizing. We know that while she is happy having her fun in her way, I have fun in mine. The relevance to my tale is that my taste in romanticism can come at a price.
I met a wonderful and highly attractive guy through the lucrative website OKCupid.com. He actually messaged me, which came as a shock to me due to the fact that he was just...retardedly hot! And I don't mean regular man hot. I mean super model proportions! The kid is finer than most women. No bullshit, I thought he was a woman until I inevitably took a look at his info. I think we guys are all about the pics.
Pics > Info
Pigish but true.
Jaine and I are very alike when it comes to our taste in the same sex. We are very picky. Me? I happen to be attracted to guys who are on the effeminate side. Which is to say guys who shave their legs as much as women do. Well this particular piece of man candy not only shaved everything everyday, he dressed better than probably any woman I have ever met. No matter what he was out doing, he was always tarted up and dressed to kill. He might sound vain(and he certainly is) but he lacks the arrogance and narcissism you would expect from someone as undeniably gorgeous as him. However, his appearance really is just scratching the surface of who he is. What makes him even more attractive aside from his appearance is that he is just so damned fun to be around. Everyone I introduced him to in my life have been so utterly charmed by him. Jaine loves him. My other partner that I have seen for over a year, adores him. Even conservative friends of mine enjoy having him around.
No shit about it, he turned out to be the epitome of what I want in lover as well as a friend.
Anyways, we had a passion for each other that I didn't expect. My passion for him always did have a ceiling on it. The passion he had for me was a bit startling to say the least. Not unwelcome, but a bit concerning. After all, what else can I offer him than sex and friendship. A man in my position can only offer so much intimacy and attention to a lover such as him.
SO..a problem did surface. It was obvious that he was falling for me, and what worried me was that he didn't have the ceiling on his emotions that I had on mine.
To be clear; I am completely and totally Jaine's and always will be. He knows that, and never wanted to fuck with that. Reason being; he loves me. And that means that he loves us. Jaine and I. There is no separating us, as he knows very well and respects.
You guys might be wondering if I did the right thing, and encouraged him to date. To continue looking as it were. Well, I did. I'm not a complete asshole, but I won't deny that I was a tad jealous when he found inevitable lovers other than me. I did recognize it for what it was though, just my alpha male territorial side poking it's ugly head out.
So I left well enough alone and told him(even from the beginning) that I would always support his quest for someone that can offer him what I cannot. And the selfish side of me always wanted to keep him where he was. Available. Shitty, I know. But you have to understand that this was person is one hell of a find. He was near and dear to me and I was hesitant to let such a person go.
TONIGHT: After 7 months he found someone else.
We had THE TALK. I knew it was coming. He let me know that he was crushing on a friend of ours, and I encouraged it. Of course I did. How could I not? Selfishness aside, I care very much about him. Why would I try to deny him the chance at the very happiness that I fought so hard to find?
SO..At a pub that we met friends(including his new guy) for drinks, I noticed the tell tale signs of involvement between the new guy and my late lover. Seeing this I knew I was sort of..replaced. I kept my distance. It was hard, but at the same time...it seemed natural. I couldn't tell you why.
When my former love affair sat beside me, and told me that we needed to talk alone; I wasn't surprised or taken aback. I could tell that he wanted to delay it, but I insisted that we go talk. Sitting outside, he mumbled and stumbled over what he was trying to tell me. I said "Just say it." amicably. When he did..it was sort of a relief. For both of us. A relief for me that he wasn't so over the moon for me that he couldn't find someone he could build a relationship with. A relief for him because I think he thought I would be really upset and showed him quite the contrary.
See, we knew it was a parting of ways of a sort. Things between us would never be the same. We would never share the type of intimacy that we had any time soon, if ever again. And you know what? That was ok. God it hurt, but fuck. What were we doing anyways? Was I going to bottle him up and keep him to myself when I wanted him? He is too special for that. So I was big about it and congratulated him, kissed him goodbye, and told his new man later in the night that he never had to worry about duplicity when it came to him and I . That I was happy for them and a few other things that needed to be said.
This is the moral of the story kids: When you get involved with new folks in this lifestyle, you have to be ready to let go. Live and let live as the saying goes. I did, and I hope you will too...if you decide to open up your relationships and find yourself in my situation.
Thanks for listening,
Warm Regards,
D
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