Big Coyote Energy

The jaguar is an animal of great power and meaning to me, my guardian. That is why the jaguar is my Patronus. But when I close my eyes and look inside, there is a dog. The dog is the embodiment of who I am, what I am. It's always been that way. The dog is my loyalty, my joy, my fear, my submission. It ties into every aspect of my being, it's the way I make sense of my world. I've been wanting to write about submission and 'what it is' to me for a long time, but I've never been able to find the right words. With the dog analogy, it finally started to make sense. I have never seen myself as a slave. The biggest reason I don't identify as a slave is because at the end of the day, slaves are still human. I identify as property. What is property in the eye of the law? Animals... dogs. Dogs are property. The Owner/canine relationship really appeals to me in a way that is entirely separate from puppy play. My submission doesn't involve pretending to be a do...

It's gonna get fucked, i don't *really* have a choice*. And it isn't just going to get fucked, it's going to get raped. Or something. I don't know. All i know is i want to make this experience as easy as possible. Considering the last time i had something in my butt that wasn't my plug was probably 2011, i'm out of practice. Things i know: * Lube * Lube * Lube * Patience * Lube * Relax * Lube * oh and lube. * maybe more lube * enema? * lube * also, lube The 12-15 times i've tried to have buttsex the way 'you're supposed' to has always been fucking uncomfortable. My ass doesn't stretch, or i'm not doing it right. Forplay - check. Relaxed-check. Sometimes alcohol (on my end) - check. Butplug - check. I have TWO buttplugs in two different sizes! One that takes me 30 minutes to get in. It's an NJOY MEDIUM. It isn't like im trying to stuff the [Great American Challenge][http://www.amazon.com/Doc-Johnson-Great-Americ...

I won't make out with you because i don't want to *give the wrong impression*. I won't make out with you because i consider that a very close intimate act and prefer only to do it with those i have plans on getting more intimate with later. I feel that lately people have been misconstruing my actions, and my words, and it is something i've found rather unsettling. People making up relationships when there are none, or assuming friendships when (to me) i clearly would have not used that label. I try to be clear. Sometimes to the point of being offensive, with my words, my sentences, my syntax, to make sure my exact, actual point gets across. I don't play with peoples' emotions. I don't sit here, planning on harming people. I'm a physical masochist not an emotional sadist. I have triggers, fears and issues just like everyone else, i don't think i'm exempt from being told i'm acting like an ass, or genuinely apologizing for my behavior o...

I want to do terrible terrible things with this man. http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/torchwood/images/25831563/title/torchwood-photo That is all.