Big Coyote Energy

A few weeks ago i went to visit Lynk. Our play tends to get very intense very quickly because we don't get to see each other that often. We do a lot of biting, rough body play and other more sadistic stuff.  We'd been discussing drowning, actually. I'm very curious about drowning, but something more interesting came up; blood play. Daddy and Lynk are planning something big for an outdoor event later in the year that i am going to be involved in. That involves a lot of blood play. I asked Lynk if we could try some blood play, on a small scale, just to see if it was something i was even into. I've seen other blood play scenes before and while i could appreciate it, i was missing something. Once i figured out what it was that was missing, Lynk was happy to help. The thing i was missing was context; It was(is) very important that the blood that is in the scene is at least partly mine. For me the act of suffering and bleeding at the hands of another is arousing as fuck a...

I've been trying to write on the blog about FetFEST since Monday, and that's not happening. Let's try a different approach... --- FetFest, like other large events seemed to be a culminating event for me. I worked through a lot of shit, one of my regrets is not working through, and accepting more things. I never realized how much the storm at Fusion12 impacted me. Having a full 3 nights and 4 days to play and connect really showed me what this is about. My attitude coming out of FetFest12 is entirely different, probably because i didn't spend 48 hours trying to trick myself out of having a panic attack. Daddy and i arrived at camp Thursday evening and set up the tent in the dark. It was fun, and we finally got everything set up around 10pm. Friday was spent running around doing volunteer work and helping TNG Village come to life, taking time to swim nude. It was strange, while i had a welcome overabundance of amazing friends and chosen family i was lack...

This is probably going to encompass a lot of things other than *just* went on a Winter Fire. I think Winter Fire was a culminating event for me. Kamm routinely points out that almost every scene i do pushes my own personal boundaries, and for some reason i don't actually think about that a lot. I haven't even been here for a year, i entered the scene on May 21, 2011, Kamms birthday. I was afraid of everything! I was afraid of the doorbell that Kamm rang to get us into the PlayHouse that very first time, so scared i jumped and knocked into the trashcans at the door and scared myself *again*. Now look at me. I'm a badass. But not as badass as Kamm... He got fucking abducted. Winter Fire gave me a lot of input on the direction in which i'd like to grow as a submissive. I still see myself as a submissive (with a curious, sly, bratty side) and maybe a little toppy, for rope especially, but the type of play i'd like to get into is a lot clearer now. I want...