Skip to main content

The Problem With Drama

The problem with drama isn't that it exists. Drama is drama, it sucks, it's annoying, it happens. This we know.

Think about the scene as a conveyer belt. Something happens at some point on the belt, people freak out, yell, scream, divide, do whatever it is that they do, and then they move on. As new people get into the scene (or hop onto the conveyer belt) they begin to hear bits and pieces of the old stories and the old drama, but they can't access the old part of the conveyer belt. They can't see the actual happenings for themselves. But they begin to form opinions based on hearsay or partial facts, or worse, get shrouded under the influence wings of the people who have "caused problems" before and are changing the stories to make themselves no longer the villain.

I have read no less than 3 writings today alone on issues that are (to the best of my knowledge, and my knowledge is pretty fucking extensive) absolute idiocy at worst and grossly misinformed at best. This week alone i've read at least 7 of them.

What is going on here?

How are people supposed to get the right information? When people act out poorly, violate the consent of others, violate the space of others, emotionally abuse others, physically abuse others, manipulate others. Obviously we can not name them through Fetlife, as that is against their TOU.

I've had my boundaries pushed during a scene once, where i did not consent. I have had my stated hard limits violated in a public play space. How am i supposed to be able to tell others of the experiences i have had with the people who have done the aforementioned things to me? This isn't libel. This isn't slander. This is stuff that has happened TO MY PERSON. Not my friend, not my partner, ME. There are people who absolutely hate my guts. I've been threatened with lawsuits more than once. I've had veiled personal threats thrown at me and my friends, a diatribe of verbal diarrhea thrown at me for extending an olive branch someone.

This is a lot of rambling, and unless explicitly stating a specific circumstance, applies to a lot of things and a lot of persons across the scene.

[This is mostly a rant. If you have legitimate discussion to add to this conversation, please do. If you are aware of any of the intimate details in the above mentioned scenarios, do not voice them, there is a reason this writing is voiced as anonymous and gender neutral.]   

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The deep end

Warning: edge play of all varieties mentioned. If it isn't your thing, i'd suggest turning back now. I think it's time i've accepted a few labels for myself; masochist, edge player, sick-fuck. Sexual guilt is actually something i've never dealt with before. I've always been very "on my own terms." I lost my virginity at 17 to a boy i really loved because we decided it was a good time for us (he was a virgin too, and a year younger than me). It was a good experience and we were together for a long time but i knew it wouldn't be forever. We're still friends to this day, he's pretty cool. I went through a "slut phase" in college because i felt like it and wanted to. My sexual partners (at the time) were all really cool about it. I had my first MFM threesome and OTHER people were so mad! How dare i let them take advantage of me! ...Excuse me? It was my fucking idea. We were sitting in a hot tub, chilling out (we may have been dr...

Dear Virginia, Fuck You.

The state of Virginia is now aloud to discriminate against gays and other potential adopters as well as six other characteristics. Read the full article from the washington blade here . The Virginia State Board of Social Services voted 5 to 1 on Wednesday to allow licensed adoption agencies to refuse to approve adoptions or foster parents based solely on a would-be parent’s sexual orientation as well as six other characteristics.   The board took that action by rejecting for the second time this year an adoption related rule change first drafted in 2009 by state social services officials under former Governor Tim Kaine.   The proposed change called for banning discrimination in the state’s adoption and foster care system solely because of someone’s sexual orientation, religion, age, gender, disability, political beliefs, or family status.   Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell and the state’s controversial attorney general, Ken Cuccinelli, who took office...

Public Service Announcement: 4th of July

For those of you in the United States, a major holiday is coming up; Independence Day. Please remember to drink responsibly, sleep somewhere if you have to. DUI's aren't worth it.  Also please remember to make sure noise-reactive pets are locked up safe and sound.  Leash slips and escapees because of firework scares are frequent for this holiday.  Animals get scared and bolt, going much farther than they normally would because of fear.  Animals generally don't know the way back home.  If you've got a noise-reactive animal you're worried about schedule a vet appointment for some sedatives or try one of the products on the market made for this very issue; the thunder vest. We'll be back to your regularly scheduled sex commentary on Tuesday. Have a good holiday everyone!