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Know Thyself

Anyone that's spoken to me for any real length of time knows i love three things; ropes, knives and pet play. I experience those in that order. Most of the people i know are riggers (novice, learning and experienced alike) so i get to be part of a lot of rope play and the occasional suspension.

i don't have a lot of "successful" suspensions under my belt but the number slowly grows. i love learning about how my body handles the stress and newness of feeling gravity interact differently on my body. How i handle the stress of the ropes pulling, my weight redistributing itself, my top pushing me harder and harder.

My body is its own story of what the fuckery at best. Hypersensitivity, ticklishness, etc. i think because of that i'm a more challenging/pain in the ass bottom, sometimes i feel bad for my tops. At least working with different people has allowed me to be able to read myself better. As has looking into a lot of rope-related risk assessment stuff and safety literature.

Last night i was working with someone i've known for a while but hadn't actually gotten tied up by before. Everything was fine, conversing back and forth (the rope on my right shoulder is pinching/i think i may need more support on my left thigh, etc). Not long after pulling my second leg up off the ground to get me into a full suspension a portion of my right hand went suddenly numb (my thumb, the back of the hand and a few inches up my wrist and forearm). As much as i didn't want the scene to end, i knew this could end up badly so i informed my top. He adjusted some of the ropes but the numbness stayed. He took me down, the numbness subsided some but due to its sudden onset untying me completely was the option he took. A shortcut in the tying method he'd used allowed him to free my hands completely. With my arms able to move feeling eventually returned to my thumb hand and wrist.
After being untied completely, my hand was fully functional and today (14ish hours later) my hand is fine and i'm using it to type.

i spoke with him about what could have caused this to happen. i've been in countless chest harnesses with rope around my outer arms constricting things and had never experienced this sort of thing before. Gradual numbness yes, the kind that turns slowly to pins and needles and eventually goes away. But the sudden numbness with no accompanying sensation was unusual. He told me it was probably pressure on my medial nerve and we poked around with it to see if we could replicate the sensation. We could. I can do it now as i type.

i learned a lot of things last night. Some about myself, some about others. Due to communication and foresight serious injury can be avoided and risk can be mitigated. Never be afraid to speak up. Never be afraid to ask for adjustment or question motivation. Always remember bodies are ever changing things, something that you can handle today may change tomorrow.

i eagerly await my future suspensions, armed with new knowledge to keep me safe.

**i purposely don't capitalize i when referring to myself in sentences. it is part of my submissive identify**

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