This definition of BDSM comes from wikipedia ;
I'd like to talk about what BDSM means to me. My simple definition of BDSM; A form of sexual or emotional expression between consenting people(s). BDSM generally has elements of role playing, in the form of a power dynamic exchange. The players in the BDSM "game" don't always have to play the same role.
After this, BDSM is what you make it. To me, BDSM is not pain. Due to some hypersensitivity issues, I can't handle pain. It's jarring and knocks me out of head space almost immediately, or worse, puts me in a bad head space. I don't think my desires in BDSM are the "norm" per-say, but I've met other people who are more into the sensual side of BDSM.
RACK & SSC
RACK stands for Risk Aware Consensual Kink. SSC stands for Safe Sane Consensual.
These two terms are used to describe the type of BDSM that people can engage in. It mostly has to do with whose responsibility it is if someone gets hurt or something bad happens. I prefer RACK myself. A lot of the stuff I enjoy the most is dangerous and I am fully aware of how dangerous it is. When I tell someone who isn't into BDSM what I like, I usually list rope (suspension, partial suspension and ground ties), knife play and pet play. That person always assumes knife play is the most dangerous thing with the highest risks. This isn't true. Rope is extremely dangerous, especially full suspension. RACK has to do with understanding the risks you are taking by experiencing these things and how best to negate them and or handle them if something goes wrong. Knife play can be dangerous, I've been scratched a few times and have some minor scars from scenes (although the marks aren't from the scenes going wrong, they're from them going right if you ask me...). Marking (places on the body, what kind of marks, etc) is something to have as part of the negotiation of a scene, before you start playing.
It is always a good idea to have a basic understanding of the safety considerations you can use when engaging in BDSM play. It doesn't matter if you are the top or bottom in any circumstance. If you feel your life is in danger, or some safety feature or exercise is being negated you need to say something. In theory, this conversation will take place before you start a scene so that your higher thinking brain knows what is going on.
If you ask any two kinksters what they like about BDSM, you'll get two very different answers. Some like pain and impact play, others like sensation, others like sensory deprivation and others like even more things. It's always a good idea to ask someone what they are into before assuming compatibility.
The difference between BDSM and assault is consent. The difference between BDSM and assault is negotiation. The difference between BDSM and assault is knowledge. Any BDSM scene should be done between two consenting people. Negotiation is extremely important. It allows for everyone involved to know what the hard limits are (limits that can not be crossed under any circumstance), what the soft limits are (things someone might not necessarily like or enjoy but will do for a scene) and what the expectations are (what are the players involved looking to experience or try). There is a reason I've gone back and edited anything saying "adults" in this post to people or people(s). "Underage" persons (persons below 18 in the US) are and can be sexual beings. I'd prefer not to alienate them. I know quite a few people who have known they were kinky since they were children. There's nothing wrong with knowing yourself and some people realize it earlier than others. I was in my mid twenties before I stumbled on the fact that I was into this.
This is going to have to be broken up into sections since BDSM is such an encompassing thing. I wanted to give my readers a taste of what I've been getting myself into for the last 6 months.
Topics I plan to address in specific later (in no particular order) are: Aftercare, Knife Play, Communication, Pet Play, Sensory play, Impact play, Pain play, and a few more things.
BDSM is an erotic preference and a form of sexual expression involving the consensual use of restraint, intense sensory stimulation, and fantasy power role-play. The compound acronym BDSM is derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D or B/D), dominance and submission (D&S or D/s), and sadism and masochism (S&M or S/M). BDSM includes a wide spectrum of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures.
Activities and relationships within a BDSM context are characterized by the participants usually taking on complementary, but unequal roles, thus the idea of consent of both the partners becomes essential. Typically participants who are active – applying the activity or exercising control over others – are known as tops or dominants. Those participants who are recipients of the activities, or who are controlled by their partners are typically known as bottoms or submissives. Individuals who alternate between top/dominant and bottom/submissive roles — whether from relationship to relationship or within a given relationship — are known as switches.[1]...And that does an alright job of explaining what BDSM is to the masses, but it really is a lacking definition to someone like me. When people think of BDSM they think of gimp suits and whips and handcuffs. They think of people beating the shit out of other people and enjoying it. Maybe they even think of amputation or cutting or blood play or some of the other extreme fetishes. Some people love those things, but there is so much more to BDSM than just whips and chains.
I'd like to talk about what BDSM means to me. My simple definition of BDSM; A form of sexual or emotional expression between consenting people(s). BDSM generally has elements of role playing, in the form of a power dynamic exchange. The players in the BDSM "game" don't always have to play the same role.
After this, BDSM is what you make it. To me, BDSM is not pain. Due to some hypersensitivity issues, I can't handle pain. It's jarring and knocks me out of head space almost immediately, or worse, puts me in a bad head space. I don't think my desires in BDSM are the "norm" per-say, but I've met other people who are more into the sensual side of BDSM.
RACK & SSC
RACK stands for Risk Aware Consensual Kink. SSC stands for Safe Sane Consensual.
These two terms are used to describe the type of BDSM that people can engage in. It mostly has to do with whose responsibility it is if someone gets hurt or something bad happens. I prefer RACK myself. A lot of the stuff I enjoy the most is dangerous and I am fully aware of how dangerous it is. When I tell someone who isn't into BDSM what I like, I usually list rope (suspension, partial suspension and ground ties), knife play and pet play. That person always assumes knife play is the most dangerous thing with the highest risks. This isn't true. Rope is extremely dangerous, especially full suspension. RACK has to do with understanding the risks you are taking by experiencing these things and how best to negate them and or handle them if something goes wrong. Knife play can be dangerous, I've been scratched a few times and have some minor scars from scenes (although the marks aren't from the scenes going wrong, they're from them going right if you ask me...). Marking (places on the body, what kind of marks, etc) is something to have as part of the negotiation of a scene, before you start playing.
It is always a good idea to have a basic understanding of the safety considerations you can use when engaging in BDSM play. It doesn't matter if you are the top or bottom in any circumstance. If you feel your life is in danger, or some safety feature or exercise is being negated you need to say something. In theory, this conversation will take place before you start a scene so that your higher thinking brain knows what is going on.
If you ask any two kinksters what they like about BDSM, you'll get two very different answers. Some like pain and impact play, others like sensation, others like sensory deprivation and others like even more things. It's always a good idea to ask someone what they are into before assuming compatibility.
The difference between BDSM and assault is consent. The difference between BDSM and assault is negotiation. The difference between BDSM and assault is knowledge. Any BDSM scene should be done between two consenting people. Negotiation is extremely important. It allows for everyone involved to know what the hard limits are (limits that can not be crossed under any circumstance), what the soft limits are (things someone might not necessarily like or enjoy but will do for a scene) and what the expectations are (what are the players involved looking to experience or try). There is a reason I've gone back and edited anything saying "adults" in this post to people or people(s). "Underage" persons (persons below 18 in the US) are and can be sexual beings. I'd prefer not to alienate them. I know quite a few people who have known they were kinky since they were children. There's nothing wrong with knowing yourself and some people realize it earlier than others. I was in my mid twenties before I stumbled on the fact that I was into this.
This is going to have to be broken up into sections since BDSM is such an encompassing thing. I wanted to give my readers a taste of what I've been getting myself into for the last 6 months.
Topics I plan to address in specific later (in no particular order) are: Aftercare, Knife Play, Communication, Pet Play, Sensory play, Impact play, Pain play, and a few more things.
nice, I love,
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