Skip to main content

How do we navigate this crazy world?

*Note this writing was originally written over a year ago*

Spoiler alert: I don't think I know how to date. Outside the scene, or inside of it. Especially inside of it.
I've had a large number of negative experiences with poly, or non-monogamy in general. Veto power is pretty much a no-go for me at this point. I don't want to get involved with anyone with at least one additional serious relationship because I don't feel like there is any room for me within the relationship. Poly is not all fun and games. I'm not a unicorn. I don't want to date your; wife, girlfriend, partner or submissive. I don't want to be a triad or a V. I don't want to compete for attention or love or time. I am super over that right now.
The local area here seems to be super into casual play or party-only play, but nothing more serious. I can't do casual kink. I've tried. It's where I've had my consent violated, multiple times. It's left me feeling replaceable. Like anyone with my same body make up could be replaced in the scene and the person I was playing with would feel the exact same way. I stopped doing pick up play. Since I've lost or broken up with all my partners, essentially, I haven't really played at all.
I value connection over novelty, and I honestly do not know how to find it. I love my friends that do these elaborate, amazing scenes where everyone laughs and has a great time. I can't really do those.
I feel like my only option to find a partner who isn't already polysaturated, and local, is to date outside of the scene and then hope I can get that person into kink later. It's exhausting.
How do you do it?
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I have returned!

Quick post just to update everyone that I am back from the Godless Gathering PA.0. I survived and had an incredible time.  Met some fantastic people that I'm sad I only get to see once or twice a year.  It was pretty successful. The video footage will be uploaded later.  It will be uploaded to my original youTube channel, and then mirrored at the EroticWetAtomic youTube channel. Also, I have a twitter that I might annoyingly update sometimes; #eroticwetatomic. Just editing the post to announce that the video footage has been uploaded to YouTube under EroticWetAtomic (this attached channel) and FineLineFalling, my regular "G" rated channel. 
5 comments
Read more

A Note on the Importance of Communication in Relationships

As someone in a poly relationship, i hear all the time about how important communication and honesty is. It's beaten into our heads over and over again. "Problem? Talk about it." Sure, it makes sense, it's logical, it's what people should do. So then, why do people have such a hard time being honest? I'm going to say this very plainly. The truth is always better than a lie. As far as i'm concerned anyway. Just be honest, especially with your friends. This isn't always about romantic relationships, poly or otherwise. Friendships, play partnerships, they're all types of relationships. Don't want to hang out? Awesome. Say so. Don't make excuses. I get that people are busy, or have things to do, or are feeling not too social that day. Don't want to fuck? Awesome. Say so. Don't leave me wondering if i'm some sort of sexual predator because you say that you want to get intimate and because I trust you, I believe y...
3 comments
Read more

KateHarding.net's "Guest Blogger Starling: Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced"

I found this article some months ago and was recently reintroduced to it. My last entry had to do with women related things, let's focus on what goes on inside the brains of us very lovey ladies and woman-identified peoples.  The full original article can be found here on KateHarding.net and I recommend every single person that comes to my blog go over there and read it (or read excerpts here). Gentlemen. Thank you for reading. Let me start out by assuring you that I understand you are a good sort of person. You are kind to children and animals. You respect the elderly. You donate to charity. You tell jokes without laughing at your own punchlines. You respect women. You like women. In fact, you would really like to have a mutually respectful and loving sexual relationship with a woman. Unfortunately, you don’t yet know that woman—she isn’t working with you, nor have you been introduced through mutual friends or drawn to the same activities. So you must look fur...
2 comments
Read more