Big Coyote Energy

I'm mostly writing this whole series of entries to 1. remember shit, and 2. prove to everyone that i'm not an emotionless wash bucket and that this shit scares me. My play has shifted to the place that usually falls on most peoples hard limits list, and this isn't a story about "you must be this kinky to ride." I can do this kind of play because i have the right kind of trust and support system and fucked up people who love to push me.  So, if you've read the last two entries i've posted, you probably have a good idea of what happened at my DO Winter Fire event. I left out the scene with the stun gun and the stun baton because.. Well, i'm not really sure. Sadist and i did another scene on Saturday after my Pet Play class (which went amazingly well by the way, that class is always so fun to teach. Petplayers have some of the most amazing energy and they always bring it to the class) that was based on pain. And for some reason i agreed to it. Stun ...

Trigger warning: drowning, blood, ..fuck a lot of blood, and needles. This write up explores most of my Sunday, it gives an inside perspective as to what i was feeling and how i was handled before my scene.  Sunday. I wake up to a text from my sadist "How anxious are you?" My reply; "i was feeling fine until you said something.." I feel my anxiety spike and i work to keep it down.  My phone goes off again: "I recommend that you stay hydrated today and this evening." "I'm trying to stay on top of it..". Phone buzzes again "That's scary." "What is?" "That you trust me." ' I do ' i think to myself.. If i didn't trust him, we wouldn't be doing this. I would never have consented, and he does actually have my consent. I mean, i have to get in the tub right? I told him i wouldn't struggle for that, not physically anyway, i wasn't going to fight him to get in the tub, most accidents in t...

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Njoy Pure Plugs (Left bottom: Large, top: Medium, Right bottom: Small)  I am absolutely in love with Njoys line of products. Generally you only buy one buttplug, but if you're me well then you buy all three. I'm someone who really was not into any anal penetration up until very recently. My sadist told me that he wanted to rape me in the ass. I didn't red on this plan, because, honestly, the idea is sort of appealing, and if he wanted to push my envelope on anal sex i would be ok with that. He's gotten me to like way more fucked up things so i thought anal might be a pretty low bar for him to get me to clear. (More on that later). This graphic shows the specifications for each plug. Honestly, in person the differences in size are even more apparent. The small is very very manageable. I needed no warmup to get it in, just lube. The medium i originally bought before the small, but had such a tough time getting it in that i figured something wasn't right....

Saurday: No butt stuff. Too busy running around at Tiny Terrors. Sunday: Attempted: Glass plug and anal sex (with Daddy). Was not successful in either venture. Tried some finger play with Daddy, also not good. I really hate being penetrated by fingers sometimes. Did wear Njoy medium for 4.5 hours. Ordered Njoy large off of Amazon.com. PIV sex with Daddy with Njoy medium in as well. Monday: plug free day Tuesday: Njoy med 3.5 hours Wednesday: Njoy med 3.5 hours Thursday: plug free day Friday: Cigars, Njoy med 2.0 hours

5 days away. Can not fucking wait! Come see me, i'm teaching two classes; Successful Polyamory: Having your Cake & Eating it too - Friday 2:30 Pet Play: Do it like an Animal - Saturday 11:30

[Accidentally!] cut myself shaving. ...Not sorry at all. I'm not into self-cutting but if i happen to be clumsy and make myself bleed i'll enjoy it.