Skip to main content

I shouldn't have to keep saying this.

But stop touching people without their consent. At the last 2 events I've been two, I've had THREE people touch me, two of them being complete strangers.

Don't put your hand on someone's hip when you don't know them. Hell, don't put your hands on someone elses body or possessions if you don't know them.

Don't stick your head and face on me without my permission when I'm doing sushi table stuff. You want to keep your sushi table, right? I want to keep being a sushi table, but I get way skeeved out when someones face comes at me from nowhere and goes right towards my crotch. Not cool. You know what's even shitter? When I call someone on doing that and then they just walk away without saying anything. If someone else does this again, venue management WILL be talking to you and if I'm up for it, I will also be saying something to you because you need to be called on your shitty behavior. I do not care if you're new. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

Don't poke someone in the stomach or side when you don't know how they're feeling or if they're ok with that.

Sometimes even people who LOVE being touched by others just have a time  where they don't want to.

To those of you who have been asking before you hug me or something, you guys are THE BEST. When I'm socially overwhelmed (like I was at Krakens) it's incredibly helpful and it tells me that you respect my space and therefor respect me and my feelings. It gives me good feels when this happens.

I'm hypersensitive. When sound is already a problem, touch will compound that, in a bad way for me. Sometimes even just wearing clothes of a certain fabric will cause me problems (regular stiff 100% cotton shirts are out of the question). I'm not saying these things because I'm a bitch, I'm saying these things because I'm tired of other people taking liberty with my body and my feelings.

If we have ongoing implied consent, YOU WILL KNOW. If we don't, just ask. That is ALL I'm asking for.

Edited to add:
I am NOT referring to polite excuse me or shoulder taps or the accidental butt to butt sliding that goes on when you're at a crowded event or there are large groups of people. If I'm in someones way, a shoulder tap is totally fine. It's not intrusive and I'm probably in the wrong being in the way anyway. I'm talking about people grossly taking advantage of space or exposed skin or people.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The deep end

Warning: edge play of all varieties mentioned. If it isn't your thing, i'd suggest turning back now. I think it's time i've accepted a few labels for myself; masochist, edge player, sick-fuck. Sexual guilt is actually something i've never dealt with before. I've always been very "on my own terms." I lost my virginity at 17 to a boy i really loved because we decided it was a good time for us (he was a virgin too, and a year younger than me). It was a good experience and we were together for a long time but i knew it wouldn't be forever. We're still friends to this day, he's pretty cool. I went through a "slut phase" in college because i felt like it and wanted to. My sexual partners (at the time) were all really cool about it. I had my first MFM threesome and OTHER people were so mad! How dare i let them take advantage of me! ...Excuse me? It was my fucking idea. We were sitting in a hot tub, chilling out (we may have been dr...

How You Can Help: some suggestions to make a difference in light of what has been going on in the scene.

*Note this was originally written January 2018, and was based on writings on fetlife.com at the time. *  How you can help instead of harm. A few key points to countering abuse, shitty behavior and making the scene (and the world) a better place. Discussions, writings upon writings upon writings on K&P, tears, heartfelt conversations, getting anxious on twitter (that last one is me), but what can we do to attempt to make improvements? Call out your friends. It doesn’t have to be publicly and it doesn’t have to be loudly. But if you see your friend do something shitty, or say something then. Something as simple as ā€œWow, that was shitty, why would you say that?ā€ or ā€œThat wasn’t nice, you shouldn’t say that or do that to someone.ā€ Will go a long way. It allows the group of people you’re in to also feel compelled to speak up. The bystander effect is real. When I started calling out the behavior of my relatives at holiday gatherings, shit got a lot better for everyone. And it ...

Those Crazy Vaginas

This is an important, albeit rarely mentioned issue that I hear about between couples. I just hear about it from women. There are so many sex toys and sex related products that can cause women serious problems ! Yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, vaginal discomfort, allergic reactions, chemical burns... You name it. I recently replied to another blog about issues the author had been having at one point and how to remedy them. I'd like to share the information I shared with her to all of you. This will help everyone's sexy parts stay healthy and sexy longer. :) Now, the advice below is assuming anyone with a vagina that is experiencing chronic yeast infections has seen their doctor and ruled out other issues (PH imbalance caused by; diet, STI, hormone changes, drugs, etc). Also, please keep in mind a lot of yeast infections are not actually yeast infections, they can also be bacterial vaginosis. If you're unsure of the symptoms of each, see your doctor :) The main...