Skip to main content

Decompression at RambleGRUE, a story of brain weasels and wrangling them.

I want to do so much, and have the energy for so little.
Kinking with a concussion is serious bad news bears. In fact, existing at all is a struggle. I registered for RambleGrue at the same time I registered for DO Summer Camp, before the concussion.
I didn't imagine myself playing much, if at all at Grue, which turned out to be true, but okay. I've come to accept I have limitations and the concussion business makes it hard to remember things and does things in my brain that make play difficult. My pain tolerance sucks because I'm so tired all the time, or my brain gets caught up on things it has no business thinking about ---the brain weasels. So I'd mostly taken play off the table. What I did want to exercise and experience were a few things;
  • Experience GRUE.
  • My right to exist in the world as a complex human being.
  • Using my words to ask for the things I wanted.
  • Try to come to a place of peace with how I've been feeling in the universe.
I really, really enjoyed my first GRUE. To the point I'm eyeballing ColumbusGRUE with some serious consideration. I feel like, when I'm better, the lack of specific planning may cause me some anxiety issues, but I'll deal with them. I was able to find just the right things to do or be at at GRUE for my brain. Periods of intense braining/thinking/speaking/managing were followed by meals with friends or low brain power activities. Important discussions were had with groups of strangers, and everyone was phenomenal. We talked about consent. We talked about inebriants. [Notes from that discussion will be up soon]. I introduced Cinna to other stuffies, he made friends. I connected with friends and either had, or witnessed several important, deep, conversations. I held space for people, I had space held for me. I made new friends and got to know ready-known friends better. This event was really great. I was so happy to be able to get to visit camp one more time before the end of the season, where I didn't have to work. I didn't have to mange people. I could just be, and do.
Literally, right before I left with a friend to come to GRUE, I saw a neurologist and was diagnosed with "post concussion syndrome" which is essentially a concussion that just won't quit. So if my concussion were anything else,it would be super successful and great. But since it isn't, it sucks and two months later is still causing me serious problems.
I used my words...Or texts to ask two people about doing things. So yay for me.
As for the last one. I'm not sure I achieved that. I spent a lot of time reflecting on things. Myself, my home life, my friends. How I do a lot of things. It was incredibly peaceful, Sunday night, going out into the field infant of 19 and sitting in my camp chair staring up at the stars and feeling a sense of peace that I haven't felt in a while.
I might add more to this.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I have returned!

Quick post just to update everyone that I am back from the Godless Gathering PA.0. I survived and had an incredible time.  Met some fantastic people that I'm sad I only get to see once or twice a year.  It was pretty successful. The video footage will be uploaded later.  It will be uploaded to my original youTube channel, and then mirrored at the EroticWetAtomic youTube channel. Also, I have a twitter that I might annoyingly update sometimes; #eroticwetatomic. Just editing the post to announce that the video footage has been uploaded to YouTube under EroticWetAtomic (this attached channel) and FineLineFalling, my regular "G" rated channel. 
5 comments
Read more

A Note on the Importance of Communication in Relationships

As someone in a poly relationship, i hear all the time about how important communication and honesty is. It's beaten into our heads over and over again. "Problem? Talk about it." Sure, it makes sense, it's logical, it's what people should do. So then, why do people have such a hard time being honest? I'm going to say this very plainly. The truth is always better than a lie. As far as i'm concerned anyway. Just be honest, especially with your friends. This isn't always about romantic relationships, poly or otherwise. Friendships, play partnerships, they're all types of relationships. Don't want to hang out? Awesome. Say so. Don't make excuses. I get that people are busy, or have things to do, or are feeling not too social that day. Don't want to fuck? Awesome. Say so. Don't leave me wondering if i'm some sort of sexual predator because you say that you want to get intimate and because I trust you, I believe y...
3 comments
Read more

KateHarding.net's "Guest Blogger Starling: Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced"

I found this article some months ago and was recently reintroduced to it. My last entry had to do with women related things, let's focus on what goes on inside the brains of us very lovey ladies and woman-identified peoples.  The full original article can be found here on KateHarding.net and I recommend every single person that comes to my blog go over there and read it (or read excerpts here). Gentlemen. Thank you for reading. Let me start out by assuring you that I understand you are a good sort of person. You are kind to children and animals. You respect the elderly. You donate to charity. You tell jokes without laughing at your own punchlines. You respect women. You like women. In fact, you would really like to have a mutually respectful and loving sexual relationship with a woman. Unfortunately, you don’t yet know that woman—she isn’t working with you, nor have you been introduced through mutual friends or drawn to the same activities. So you must look fur...
2 comments
Read more