Big Coyote Energy

I'm not a woo creature. I'm either woo-blind, or I don't hear in woo-frequency. Whatever it is, woo is never something that has registered to me. I do understand energy to some level, and the all important spoon theory, but, I've wanted to understand my interaction with energy and why some things impact me the way they do for a long time. I had a conversation with my roommate, recently that was very eye opening. I'd been fishing with Daddy over Independence Day weekend. I thought maybe we'd go out for a few hours and catch some fish and come home and spend there rest of the day doing each other. I was wrong. We were out from noon to past sunset. We made it back to my house around 10pm. I beat out Daddy, I would have kept staying until the light really went. I was having that much fun. How the fuck was my broken ass able to walk around the woods and river, be in the sun, and fish for NINE straight hours? I can't tell you the last time I did anything for ni...

*Note: This post is 7 months old, and about DOFusion17 * Fusion is a blur for me. A blur of emotions, almost all of them in the positive category. This is the first event I have felt present at, in a long time. The car accident last July did a number on me, that year anniversary is coming up and I will not be 100% back to my old self. Fusion was a lot of realizing what my new normal is, and my health problems seem to continue to grow, and some days that's ok, and other days it's crushing, and all of that is also ok. I was distracted, for camp. I spent weeks, even a couple months prepping everything for myself and Silver (@SilverTonugedOne if you want to friend him), and assisting with general Compound things and buying supplies and trying to be a helpful, if not distracted dog. I didn't know until the Thursday 2 weeks before camp that Silver was 100% coming to Fusion. I wouldn't let myself get my hopes up, because I've been there before, hoping with my heart of...

* Note: This post is actually about 7 months old *  I've looked everywhere. In my drawers, under the bed, in the closet. In my car. My backpack. It's no where to be found, my extra love. Sure I love people in my life, a lot of them. I'm blessed enough to have found a group of amazing, incredible, resilient, supportive people. But... I'm not polyamorous. I've tried, I've had good poly relationships, I've been in them, dated poly people, I've taught classes, etc. But right now in my current place in life, that is not for me. That's not a slight against poly people in my life, I will always admire you and how you handle things, but for me, for now, I think I want mostly monogamy. Certainly emotionally, probably physically. I'm still hammering that one out. How that ends up will be after a long discussion with Silver. We currently, intentionally, don't have labels on what we're doing, which leaves me a free agent to do as I wish. If ...

I’ve touched hundreds of pairs of boots since starting my journey as a baby bootie four years ago. Each pair of boots, or piece of leather has left some kind of impression on me. I see blacking as an exchange of energy, and a way I can be casually intimate with strangers and friends and lovers alike in a way that is safe for me. Blacking takes on many different forms for me. At the stand I’m personable, and approachable. I service my community and their leather. I make them shine and then send them away for their fun and adventures. At home, with my partners, it’s a completely different story. Blacking is intimate, dirty, and sexual. Sometimes it’s an ordeal. “Do you need to do any laundry?” He yelled up from my basement. “Laundry… Yeah! My black hamper in my closet, it’s rectangle shaped.” “This stuff smells like a box, I need to wash it.” It smells like a box… Does the box smell like you? I wondered but didn’t ask. Now he would smell like me. My detergent. My house. My be...