PSA: Don't spank me.

I'm generally pretty good about dictating or negotiation my regular interactions with others. Sometimes I'm huggy, sometimes I'm not. Sometimes I prefer a handshake, sometimes I want a kiss. I communicate these needs if you're someone I routinely interact with related to them.

Close friends I'm generally ok with being hugged by. I will let you know if this is not the case (like if I've got a busted rib or other injury). Or if I just don't want to be glomped when arriving at an event.

I don't like to be touched intimately by people I don't know well. It's not you, it's just how I am. 

I'm generally very ok with these interactions but there is one thing I need to speak up about because I say something about it over and over again.

Spanking me is a hard limit. I don't like spanking. I can't process spanking. For the love of whatever god is your homeboy, DO NOT SPANK ME OUTSIDE OF A SCENE. 

Don't spank me when I'm on a train. Or on a plane. Or in a car or at the bar. Don't spank me. When I'm bending over to change, or get something out of my bag. Don't spank me. 

Don't spank me or hit my ass unless you approach my face and go "indey//Jayne, I'd like to spank you, is that alright?" and then I verbally tell you "Yes (person) I would like you to spank me."

If the above has not happened 

THEN DON'T SPANK ME. 

This isn't difficult. I'm getting tired of people making assumptions about me and my body and my space. Even if we have some kind of ongoing/implied consent, don't do it. 

I don't care what kind of play I do, or how "hard" of a bottom I am. Or how much I ID as a masochist and love pain. DON'T SPANK ME. I understand that a lot of people see a friendly butt patt as a greeting, or an expression of humor, or whatever, but it is not that for me. Don't do it. 

Spanking is a soft limit for me inside of scenes. I negotiate spanking if it is a thing we will do. No talk about spanking means no spanking.

So, to nutshell this bitch, if you're sneeking up behind me thinking it would be a great interaction with me to grab or smack my bum and then run off giggling or trill, don't. You damage your interaction with me every time you do this. I am not going to simply allow this gross violation of my personal space, body and boundaries. This community is built on consent. Go fucking get some.

This is my plea to you, my community. My friends. My acquaintances. My strangers. My partners. My lovers. Please allow me to feel safe in spaces and around you and interact with you.  

#micdrop 

This post has been inspired by @MabMadder because if she can own her shit, than so can I.