As much as i don't like to admit it, i am fallible. I mean, i'm human, and humans are extremely fragile, physically. And mentally... And emotionally. But generally, i tend to be in control of those things.
Last month was a difficult month for me. May generally seems to be a stressful time in my life, but it was extra stressful this year. I don't intend to go into details, but the nut-shell version is that i ended up at a funeral (memorial service) this weekend that i wasn't prepared to go to. A very dear family friend of ours passed in a tragic accident over Memorial Day weekend.
I wanted to talk about how fragile life is. I recently linked an article on twitter in which someone had killed themselves accidentally in a BDSM related death. Things are called "accidents" for a reason. No one means for things to go wrong, or for something to happen, but things do happen. Please keep up to date on safety measures and protocols. Keep a first aid kit in your toy bag, Kamm and i do. Know who your resident paramedics or health care professionals are, there are more of them in the scene than you think. Train yourself in CPR. Keep an eye on things. Most importantly, communicate. Weird shit happens all the time, a bad reaction to stress, or a certain position can cut off circulation. Things can happen before you know it.
Friday, Kamm and i attended an event in Baltimore that we had been looking forward to all month. I had one scheduled scene with HarshJudgement, someone who i've been playing with for months. I'd been looking forward to it for the last few days we'd been talking about it. He asked me what i wanted and i'd answered "stress." I love physically stressful rope scenes. I've spoken about my past issues with full suspensions, and he knows them as well, so we settled on a partial suspension. Something i've done many times.
I don't really know how to explain exactly what happened, but i lost consciousness during the scene. And it was scary.
I was out for less than a minute, i'm sure of that. The last thing i remember was telling HarshJudgement "You should take me down, i feel nauseous." Then, out. No tunnel vision, no swimming feeling, just out. I woke up on the floor, in his arms softly but firmly calling my name. All i remember thinking was "Damnit HarshJudgement, i'm asleep. This had better be an emergency!" I was lucid once i regained consciousness. "What day is it?" "June 2nd 2012." "What's your name?" "indey." "Where are we?" "At the (venu)." He believed me and gave me some water and a few mini doughnuts. He finished untying the ropes and sat with me for a while.
HarshJudgement did everything right. I'm lucky he knows what to do and can stay calm in a not so pleasant situation. I was not angry at him at all, quite the opposite. He handled a stressful situation beautifully and i am lucky to know him. I felt bad about concerning him. No one else seemed to notice anything happened really. Which was good, i'd feel bad if i panicked anyone and waking up with a bunch of people staring at me probably would have freaked me out.
BDSM is risky. I operate under the RACK flag for a reason. RACK is Risk Aware Consensual Kink. Remember this. Accidents can happen at any time, even to those most prepared. I was ok this time, the gentleman in the article i linked above wasn't so lucky.
Last month was a difficult month for me. May generally seems to be a stressful time in my life, but it was extra stressful this year. I don't intend to go into details, but the nut-shell version is that i ended up at a funeral (memorial service) this weekend that i wasn't prepared to go to. A very dear family friend of ours passed in a tragic accident over Memorial Day weekend.
I wanted to talk about how fragile life is. I recently linked an article on twitter in which someone had killed themselves accidentally in a BDSM related death. Things are called "accidents" for a reason. No one means for things to go wrong, or for something to happen, but things do happen. Please keep up to date on safety measures and protocols. Keep a first aid kit in your toy bag, Kamm and i do. Know who your resident paramedics or health care professionals are, there are more of them in the scene than you think. Train yourself in CPR. Keep an eye on things. Most importantly, communicate. Weird shit happens all the time, a bad reaction to stress, or a certain position can cut off circulation. Things can happen before you know it.
Friday, Kamm and i attended an event in Baltimore that we had been looking forward to all month. I had one scheduled scene with HarshJudgement, someone who i've been playing with for months. I'd been looking forward to it for the last few days we'd been talking about it. He asked me what i wanted and i'd answered "stress." I love physically stressful rope scenes. I've spoken about my past issues with full suspensions, and he knows them as well, so we settled on a partial suspension. Something i've done many times.
I don't really know how to explain exactly what happened, but i lost consciousness during the scene. And it was scary.
I was out for less than a minute, i'm sure of that. The last thing i remember was telling HarshJudgement "You should take me down, i feel nauseous." Then, out. No tunnel vision, no swimming feeling, just out. I woke up on the floor, in his arms softly but firmly calling my name. All i remember thinking was "Damnit HarshJudgement, i'm asleep. This had better be an emergency!" I was lucid once i regained consciousness. "What day is it?" "June 2nd 2012." "What's your name?" "indey." "Where are we?" "At the (venu)." He believed me and gave me some water and a few mini doughnuts. He finished untying the ropes and sat with me for a while.
HarshJudgement did everything right. I'm lucky he knows what to do and can stay calm in a not so pleasant situation. I was not angry at him at all, quite the opposite. He handled a stressful situation beautifully and i am lucky to know him. I felt bad about concerning him. No one else seemed to notice anything happened really. Which was good, i'd feel bad if i panicked anyone and waking up with a bunch of people staring at me probably would have freaked me out.
BDSM is risky. I operate under the RACK flag for a reason. RACK is Risk Aware Consensual Kink. Remember this. Accidents can happen at any time, even to those most prepared. I was ok this time, the gentleman in the article i linked above wasn't so lucky.
Thank you for this. I don't think enough people in any of the scenes or lifestyles (isn't interesting how each of them is THE Lifestyle?) understand proper first aid and emergency care, much less how to implement any kind of recovery or aid when needed.
ReplyDeleteWow, thanks for sharing your experience. BDSM *is* risky indeed, some times more than others.
ReplyDeleteI read the article about that young man when it happened, so sad. :(
Glad you are OK.