Big Coyote Energy

Warning: You're entering an area where verbal diarrhea is located. It's December 27th and i'm still alive. For the past two years, from November 30th through approximately December 20th i have been unable to focus. Work takes up almost all of my time (hell 22+ hours of overtime per pay period). I can't focus on any of my hobbies or friends. I've barely got time to feed the cats and clean the geckos. Their cages are all clean now, except for one food painter who needs hers cleaned again. Animals man, animals. Getting sick absolutely sucked and i'm glad im better. Flu is no bueno. I'll be getting a flu shot soon. Maybe today! Since i'm not sick anymore and you shouldn't get vaccinated for shits when you're sick. #Immunofails. This year has been weird. Starting around July with crazy panic attacks related to my parents and my coming out process to them. That has thankfully been an easier and better process than i could have hoped for. My paren...

My birthday is around Thanksgiving. I don't really like it, but it isn't something i've got any form of control over. V-day conception means a Thanksgivingish birthday. Quite a few people in my life and family suffer the same fate. But you know what is pretty cool? I get to see my family every year on or around my birthday because the turkey day is a big deal for them. This year, by dessert, we saw at least 55 people through the door. I don't really like turkey. But you know what? Every year my family also has ham for me and the other turkey naysayers (gobblesayers?). I chow down on that ham like the puppy i am. And really, who is going to forsake delicious ham in favor of turkey. Hammmmmmmmm. This is the first time i've seen both my parents in person since i came out to them about poly. And no one freaked out. They bold told me they loved me. The written message in my birthday card almost made me cry. The good tears i mean. Daddy is sleeping next to me, finally not...

Take a look here .

So, i talked to my Dad for like 30 seconds because i was at the cell phone store and needed the account PIN so i called him. He seemed good. Whoot. I spoke to my Mom earlier this week to discuss Thanksgiving plans and she said he took it pretty well. He doesn't really have any questions and wasn't freaking out. He ALWAYS makes his feelings pretty well known so him being neutral is the best option i could have asked for. This is going pretty well.  More later?

On Thursday (10/24) my mom told my dad about Kamm and i's relationship. The non-monogmous part of it. This was a controlled outing, i gave her permission. We'd been talking for a while about the 'best' way to tell him. There is no 'best way' there is no 'better time.' Every time, every way, all this information is stuff i knew he'd never want to hear. Honestly, he's pretty open minded. My tester questions had always ended in neutral though confused answers which is all i could really expect from him, well, them. Both my parents. The only people in my life who don't know are some cousins and aunts and uncles. I've debated changing my facebook status but i do feel like that would be rubbing it in peoples faces, i also feel like my parents deserve some time to come to terms with what is going on in my life before my aunt starts calling them in a panic going "OMG what does *****'* facebook status mean?!" because she will. She...

If you're a masochist, sometimes you know from your earliest memories that pain turns you on, that it is something that you want and need with every fiber of your being. Others of us are late bloomers in the pain spectrum and may need a little conditioning and self reflection to realize that this is something we want in our play.  Join Jaine for a discussion on how masochism can develop in the most unlikely of people.  We will discuss: Conditioning Accepting pain Flipping the brain switch Who can do this  Why would you want to become a masochist How this may effect your play in the future  And more 

I won't make out with you because i don't want to *give the wrong impression*. I won't make out with you because i consider that a very close intimate act and prefer only to do it with those i have plans on getting more intimate with later. I feel that lately people have been misconstruing my actions, and my words, and it is something i've found rather unsettling. People making up relationships when there are none, or assuming friendships when (to me) i clearly would have not used that label. I try to be clear. Sometimes to the point of being offensive, with my words, my sentences, my syntax, to make sure my exact, actual point gets across. I don't play with peoples' emotions. I don't sit here, planning on harming people. I'm a physical masochist not an emotional sadist. I have triggers, fears and issues just like everyone else, i don't think i'm exempt from being told i'm acting like an ass, or genuinely apologizing for my behavior o...