On Thursday (10/24) my mom told my dad about Kamm and i's relationship. The non-monogmous part of it. This was a controlled outing, i gave her permission. We'd been talking for a while about the 'best' way to tell him. There is no 'best way' there is no 'better time.' Every time, every way, all this information is stuff i knew he'd never want to hear. Honestly, he's pretty open minded. My tester questions had always ended in neutral though confused answers which is all i could really expect from him, well, them. Both my parents.
The only people in my life who don't know are some cousins and aunts and uncles. I've debated changing my facebook status but i do feel like that would be rubbing it in peoples faces, i also feel like my parents deserve some time to come to terms with what is going on in my life before my aunt starts calling them in a panic going "OMG what does *****'* facebook status mean?!" because she will. She's that kind of person. I know for a fact my mom gets routine phone calls from two of my aunts regarding my facebook status posts sometimes. I don't think they are bad calls (especially not from the one aunt, who is like my second mother... It's complicated) but i know i'm a topic of discussion often. I'm not sure how i feel like that.
On Friday, my dad emailed me a picture of my two sisters (they don't live close and were visiting on the other side of the country). I think that was a little sign of "here, have some normal, I don't hate you. This is my way of contacting you." My dad isn't a "feels" guy. He'll cry at movies or get too boisterous while drinking and talk about his vasectomy in front of his parents/my grandparents but he isn't super good at the whole empathy thing. It's ok. I've learned in my almost-27-years his way of communicating that. I'm going to give him a little while before i call him, but i did respond to the email and thank him for the picture. I told him i loved him. I'm still waiting to hear back, but then again, i don't really need an answer.
The thing that does make me sad is that my mom doesn't want any articles or resources sent to her. "I don't care what other people are doing, just you." Which.. She *said* she knew other people in open relationships, but i really don't have any idea who they are. I was looking forward to sending her a couple of things i'd found that i liked, but that's ok.. Maybe she'll ask for them one day.
If you've read this far, thank you. I really needed to get some of this off my chest. This week in general has been incredibly difficult for me for a number of reasons.
I'll update this when i speak to my dad next.
The only people in my life who don't know are some cousins and aunts and uncles. I've debated changing my facebook status but i do feel like that would be rubbing it in peoples faces, i also feel like my parents deserve some time to come to terms with what is going on in my life before my aunt starts calling them in a panic going "OMG what does *****'* facebook status mean?!" because she will. She's that kind of person. I know for a fact my mom gets routine phone calls from two of my aunts regarding my facebook status posts sometimes. I don't think they are bad calls (especially not from the one aunt, who is like my second mother... It's complicated) but i know i'm a topic of discussion often. I'm not sure how i feel like that.
On Friday, my dad emailed me a picture of my two sisters (they don't live close and were visiting on the other side of the country). I think that was a little sign of "here, have some normal, I don't hate you. This is my way of contacting you." My dad isn't a "feels" guy. He'll cry at movies or get too boisterous while drinking and talk about his vasectomy in front of his parents/my grandparents but he isn't super good at the whole empathy thing. It's ok. I've learned in my almost-27-years his way of communicating that. I'm going to give him a little while before i call him, but i did respond to the email and thank him for the picture. I told him i loved him. I'm still waiting to hear back, but then again, i don't really need an answer.
The thing that does make me sad is that my mom doesn't want any articles or resources sent to her. "I don't care what other people are doing, just you." Which.. She *said* she knew other people in open relationships, but i really don't have any idea who they are. I was looking forward to sending her a couple of things i'd found that i liked, but that's ok.. Maybe she'll ask for them one day.
If you've read this far, thank you. I really needed to get some of this off my chest. This week in general has been incredibly difficult for me for a number of reasons.
I'll update this when i speak to my dad next.
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