### A list of things that should be talked about.
---
I found some words in my brain to vomit up and put on the internet.
The following are my viewpoints, and my view points only. I'm concussed, so if this doesn't flow worth shit, file it under "things Ren does with a concussion." I will probably not be responding to comments in the long term. I may delete shitty off topic comments, or I might leave them and mock you, mercilessly.
For transparency: I've done work for and gotten comped by DO for quite a few events. I host CBC for fusion, I boot black at Winter Fire, I have taught at previous events, I have run IONs. I have not paid to go to a DO event, short of this camp, in a hot minute.
DO is my kink home and has been for a long time. I struggled for a while to figure out what to say, if anything, and how to say it, when I did figure out I wanted to talk. When you care about something, you should be honest. I care about the people who attend, my friends, who are attendees, volunteers and staff alike. I am of the mindset that I do not want to see DO burned to the ground. I feel like the week before a major event is too short notice for this to properly be addressed. I see the way things have been handled is problematic, but we can not expect this change to happen overnight.
**1. Re: Consent Liaisons, Consent Culture, et al. **
I loved this idea in theory. But then things happened, and people were named publicly and outed in ways they didn't conset to. The more I think about this, it is not sustainable or workable in the way in which it was suggested.
Other events have better and more workable systems in place that don't require people to put in 24 months of unpaid, unappreciated service to an event because they "might be a good fit".
This is a bad idea and I can't find a nicer way to tell you that.
The better alternative is to talk to OTHER event hosts who have better consent policies and cultures. What are they doing? How does it work for them? Why do they have specific types of policies? I know there are events out there with better systems, I attend them. I've been involved in getting problematic people removed or banned from events. The systems aren't perfect but they are a far more reasonable cry than the Consent Liaison position that is being put forward now.
At it's core, the consent culture at DO is shitty. The rules say otherwise, "Don't touch without permission, etc" but people do. People corner others in places they can't escape from. Victims of this type of behavior often shut down. Consent culture needs to move from "Well, they didn't say no..." To enthusiastic consent. Look for the yes. There should have been something in place that would have never allowed someone to maintain questionable behavior for seven years. This unacceptable at the core, and a showcase issue that displays the need for change.
**2. Re: Kink for Profit, The Busted Chore System and Paying People. **
DO is a business. We are billed by an LLC when checking out through the system. It's on all the event notices. For-profit-kink is not inherently a problem and it gets targeted a lot for bad press. Unfortunately, if we want to be able to get our kink on outside our bedrooms, there is an associated cost to that experience. People pay for their ticket level and go to the event. That's how it's supposed to work and typically how it does.
Business pay people to do things for them. This is how it works. If you lack the expertise to build a website, sure you can hound your nephew, but your shit will not get done the way you want, on the timeline you need and words will be missing [ask me how I know -.-]. No, you go HIRE a qualified person to get your shit done. You need to spend money to make money, but you also need to know where to put a hold down and where you can run other things. Some businesses have sectors that annually lose them money so they rely on other more profitable sectors for profit.
DO needs to figure out how to do the above.
If you pay people a reasonable amount, or make sure they are valued in a fair energy exchange, your event will run better. You won't run volunteers into the ground. People like me, who host events or parties at DO, won't be pissed off they have to rely on event stragglers to help tare down instead of the chore people who signed up for, and are obligated to there at those times.
Feeling appropriately valued will help add to your event. If your staffers and volunteers actually think they are being compensated fairly for their time, they will do a better job. Stuff will stop falling through the cracks and people will start putting energy into fixing systems instead of flinging them along like they have been for years.
I've got a few places where you guys are badly hurting and can totally make more money.
**Chores. **
My event for the last two years has had an issue with this. People get charged their XX.xx for not showing up to chores [I was told, I don't know if this actually happens].
Charge people more for missing their fucking chores. If you need money to pay people, or need to make sure your event things are handled? Charge more than the extremely low amount you do to make sure people show.the.fuck.up. My event is always on a Sunday night, I've gotten screwed for two years on missing chore people.
Your chore system is baaaaaadly busted.
**The Bar. **
Scaling back the DO sponsored bar. If you can't afford to pay people, perhaps scaling back the bar is a good place to start. I appreciate social lubricant as much as the next person, but sometimes it causes problems in the form of people getting inappropriately drunk, etc. Sometimes sacrifices need to be made.
Try out drink tickets. Put 6 in per packet and that's two drinks per event per night and have extra available for purchase at HQ during the remainder of the event if people would like to partake in more. This cuts down on the excessive event-sponcered alcohol and adds to the bottom line.
Looking at how the events as a whole are a run and addressing for other inefficiency will save you money.
** In Conclusion; **
I understand that some of my methods of thinking and energy to put into this system come from a place of privilege. I'm also sure if I thought about it for more than a few days I could come up with more ideas on how to generally improve things.
Hopefully my words help. If not, I understand but I finally found some energy to put towards this. I have been low on spoons. I may be up for chatting at camp, come find me, I'll be at the Compound or by the pool.
---
I found some words in my brain to vomit up and put on the internet.
The following are my viewpoints, and my view points only. I'm concussed, so if this doesn't flow worth shit, file it under "things Ren does with a concussion." I will probably not be responding to comments in the long term. I may delete shitty off topic comments, or I might leave them and mock you, mercilessly.
For transparency: I've done work for and gotten comped by DO for quite a few events. I host CBC for fusion, I boot black at Winter Fire, I have taught at previous events, I have run IONs. I have not paid to go to a DO event, short of this camp, in a hot minute.
DO is my kink home and has been for a long time. I struggled for a while to figure out what to say, if anything, and how to say it, when I did figure out I wanted to talk. When you care about something, you should be honest. I care about the people who attend, my friends, who are attendees, volunteers and staff alike. I am of the mindset that I do not want to see DO burned to the ground. I feel like the week before a major event is too short notice for this to properly be addressed. I see the way things have been handled is problematic, but we can not expect this change to happen overnight.
**1. Re: Consent Liaisons, Consent Culture, et al. **
I loved this idea in theory. But then things happened, and people were named publicly and outed in ways they didn't conset to. The more I think about this, it is not sustainable or workable in the way in which it was suggested.
Other events have better and more workable systems in place that don't require people to put in 24 months of unpaid, unappreciated service to an event because they "might be a good fit".
This is a bad idea and I can't find a nicer way to tell you that.
The better alternative is to talk to OTHER event hosts who have better consent policies and cultures. What are they doing? How does it work for them? Why do they have specific types of policies? I know there are events out there with better systems, I attend them. I've been involved in getting problematic people removed or banned from events. The systems aren't perfect but they are a far more reasonable cry than the Consent Liaison position that is being put forward now.
At it's core, the consent culture at DO is shitty. The rules say otherwise, "Don't touch without permission, etc" but people do. People corner others in places they can't escape from. Victims of this type of behavior often shut down. Consent culture needs to move from "Well, they didn't say no..." To enthusiastic consent. Look for the yes. There should have been something in place that would have never allowed someone to maintain questionable behavior for seven years. This unacceptable at the core, and a showcase issue that displays the need for change.
**2. Re: Kink for Profit, The Busted Chore System and Paying People. **
DO is a business. We are billed by an LLC when checking out through the system. It's on all the event notices. For-profit-kink is not inherently a problem and it gets targeted a lot for bad press. Unfortunately, if we want to be able to get our kink on outside our bedrooms, there is an associated cost to that experience. People pay for their ticket level and go to the event. That's how it's supposed to work and typically how it does.
Business pay people to do things for them. This is how it works. If you lack the expertise to build a website, sure you can hound your nephew, but your shit will not get done the way you want, on the timeline you need and words will be missing [ask me how I know -.-]. No, you go HIRE a qualified person to get your shit done. You need to spend money to make money, but you also need to know where to put a hold down and where you can run other things. Some businesses have sectors that annually lose them money so they rely on other more profitable sectors for profit.
DO needs to figure out how to do the above.
If you pay people a reasonable amount, or make sure they are valued in a fair energy exchange, your event will run better. You won't run volunteers into the ground. People like me, who host events or parties at DO, won't be pissed off they have to rely on event stragglers to help tare down instead of the chore people who signed up for, and are obligated to there at those times.
Feeling appropriately valued will help add to your event. If your staffers and volunteers actually think they are being compensated fairly for their time, they will do a better job. Stuff will stop falling through the cracks and people will start putting energy into fixing systems instead of flinging them along like they have been for years.
I've got a few places where you guys are badly hurting and can totally make more money.
**Chores. **
My event for the last two years has had an issue with this. People get charged their XX.xx for not showing up to chores [I was told, I don't know if this actually happens].
Charge people more for missing their fucking chores. If you need money to pay people, or need to make sure your event things are handled? Charge more than the extremely low amount you do to make sure people show.the.fuck.up. My event is always on a Sunday night, I've gotten screwed for two years on missing chore people.
Your chore system is baaaaaadly busted.
**The Bar. **
Scaling back the DO sponsored bar. If you can't afford to pay people, perhaps scaling back the bar is a good place to start. I appreciate social lubricant as much as the next person, but sometimes it causes problems in the form of people getting inappropriately drunk, etc. Sometimes sacrifices need to be made.
Try out drink tickets. Put 6 in per packet and that's two drinks per event per night and have extra available for purchase at HQ during the remainder of the event if people would like to partake in more. This cuts down on the excessive event-sponcered alcohol and adds to the bottom line.
Looking at how the events as a whole are a run and addressing for other inefficiency will save you money.
** In Conclusion; **
I understand that some of my methods of thinking and energy to put into this system come from a place of privilege. I'm also sure if I thought about it for more than a few days I could come up with more ideas on how to generally improve things.
Hopefully my words help. If not, I understand but I finally found some energy to put towards this. I have been low on spoons. I may be up for chatting at camp, come find me, I'll be at the Compound or by the pool.
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