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Advice for dudes (also known as a small rant)

I have profiles on several websites where I spend some time looking for partners. Some of these sites seem to be more notorious for what-the-fuckery than others. The worst offender (in my my eyes) has to be okcupid, but I do get this on every other site I belong to, just not in such numbers or with such shear stupidity accompanying it.

MEN. I'm going to give you some fantastic advice for trying to find single female swingers, or just for talking to girls over the internet in general. Gather 'round, pull up a chair and get nice and comfy. We're going to be here for a while.

On these great websites that allow complete strangers to come together for various activities there are things called profiles. These profiles give you a ton of biased information about their author. Men, you should take the four minutes it will take you to READ THE ENTIRE THING.  This is my number one pet-peeve.  We girls tend to be pretty forthcoming with the information that we'd like other people to know. Our preferences, our limits, or just some information that may just be really really useful. Take the time to figure this out. It will save you so much butt hurt later on. LRN2READ guys, Please!

It is a waste of both peoples time when a 50 year old messages someone with a 21-40 age limit.  Now the recipient of your message gets to send you a rejection notice.  How does that make you feel? Shitty? You can avoid the situation entirely by READING.  Do most people have exceptions to their rules? Absolutely. The fun thing about those exceptions is that you aren't the person to decide if you are the exception or not. With a lot of swinger couples (male/female couples) looking for an extra girl for a threesome or nine, they will often put a note about single men contacting them.  THEY will contact a single guy if THEY find him and they decide to.  This should always apply.

If you message a woman, and you don't get a response, just brush it off and move on.  Doing things on the internet makes it a lot easier to browse and file.  Sure, its polite to return at least a "thanks but no thanks" kind of message, girls on OKC get such a disproportionate amount of messages sent to them that it gets daunting and old to keep sending that same message over and over.  Okcupid at least labels profiles with a different color dot to indicate readiness to respond to messages (green is often, yellow is sometimes and read is rarely).

Another interested tidbit for y'all.  Men vastly outnumber women on a lot of these websites.  With swinging, it's really because girls don't have to work that hard to get sex (actually, that seems like it's life and not just swinging, sorry guys). Single guys will always have to work harder to swing than couples or single women. This is just how it is.  It has to do with supply and demand (take that economics! I learned things!).  Understanding exactly where you fit into the situation will only help you.

I lost the number point I'm on.  Don't assume things. You remember the old saying, assuming makes an ass out of you and me? It's totally lame, and it's totally true, so remember it.  This is actually a message I recieved on OKC  (the first message I received, word for word). I don't mention anything about sexuality in that profile other than an open relationship.
"I want to paddle you while you ride me anally.

How are you doing?"
The uh.. misscommunication came from an assumption he made.  I mentioned the word "vanilla" in my profile, and according to this gem of a gentlemen only those in the BDSM community can use that word.  My my, wasn't I educated.  I haven't gotten too many of those kinds of emails, but in all reality guys; you are messaging a strange woman. How about you keep shit polite until she starts bringing up the sexy stuff?

On an ending note, everyone in existence should look at this blog, [WhyWomenHateMen]

Just for the record, I love okcupid. It's a great website, and it is the only thing on the planet that made data analysis interesting. (Seriously, look at the articles they write, they are fantastic).  I've met some fantastic people there but I've also met people that make me want to beat my head into a brick wall for forty-five minutes.  Do your part! Don't become "THAT GUY"
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