Skip to main content

It's not about better, it's about different.

So.. I got a bearded dragon and have been totally distracted by the cuteness.

Anyway, getting back to the topic of blog.

I think the number one question I get when I talk to a non-swinger about swinging is "but don't you get jealous?" And that is usually followed by a chorus of other similar questions (including but not limited to "what if you fall in love" "what if he has a bigger dick than your guy" "what if his girl has a tighter pussy than yours" "What if her boobs are bigger" etc, etc etc.) Important tidbit.. (assuming you are swinging as a couple) Another partner will never replace the relationship you and your significant other have.  A bigger dick, or better head will not suddenly make your partner stop loving you. If you begin to have feelings for another partner or are feeling conflicted about interaction, talk to your significant other.

Now, swinging is not about finding better sex, or a partner with a bigger penis than your "main", its about having fun and having different experiences (at least according to my totally professional opinion.. ahem).

Compartmentalizing is extremely important in this lifestyle. Sex and love are not the same thing and it really takes a lot for people who are into the religious oriented monogamy mindset to overcome that mental hurdle (don't be sad, I had to get over it too, just for different reasons).

A lot of swingers (newbies especially) have certain rules that they need to feel comfortable. Some of these include keeping certain sexual acts just between themselves (kissing or anal sex are the top two I've found). With D and myself, it's not really like that. I'm not terribly big on anal (just a personal preference) but if I found a guy I wanted to do anal with D wouldn't be upset. What I would not recommend is breaking kissing up into certain "kinds" of kissing. I'm not saying these rules aren't valid and that they don't give a level of comfort to new swingers who want that "buffer" but in the heat of the moment that kissing rule especially can get thrown out the window and create some jealously issues.

Communication is so important in swinging. Talking out concerns or problems with your partner before they blossom into actual issues is integral to successful swinging.

There will be more on this later, my bearded dragon is asleep. I should probably go to bed.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Looking for a place to start? Try some of these sites

I've either used or heard of all of these sites. Explications and success rates below. Listed in alphabetical order for.. fairness, yeah. [ Adult Friend Finder ] I can't suggest this website to anyone in my experience. I signed up for an account to get an accurate representation of what the site was like and if you are a free member, literally, every other button you push asks you to upgrade.  The website itself is terribly put together and the layout makes almost no sense. The site has several overlapping features and siging up for an AFF profile also gives you a profile of another type that I was never asked about when signing up. I put links to my Fetlife and SLS accounts and they froze my profile. Long review short - I'd take your time and your money elsewhere. [ Craigslist ] Very very hit or miss. Mostly miss for me, but once again if you know what to look for you'll do well enough. There is a lot of bots, a lot of spam and a lot of people with absolutely n...
Post a Comment
Read more

For Fucks Sake, White People.

This isn't hard. I FOUND SOME READING FOR PEOPLE WHO SEEM TO BE HAVING TROUBLE UNDERSTANDING. YOU'RE WELCOME. What is racism. Why reverse racism isn't a fucking thing. But black people are racist. White privilege, you got it!* But not all white people. Let me play Devil's Advocate for a minute. If this is new to you, and if it is, that's ok, you're going to have some feelings to work through. I'm working through some of my own right now. It's ok to have feelings. It's not ok to snap at POC about how you feel you're except from the racist culture that permeates America. I'm guilty of it, you're guilty of it. We're all guilty of it. BUT, we can use our WHITE PRIVILEGE, to try to fucking do better. So let's do it, shall we? Full disclosure, I've skimmed a lot of these articles, they sum up things I've read and discussed with people in the past, my brain issues are not allowing me to read long articles at ...
Post a Comment
Read more

KateHarding.net's "Guest Blogger Starling: Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced"

I found this article some months ago and was recently reintroduced to it. My last entry had to do with women related things, let's focus on what goes on inside the brains of us very lovey ladies and woman-identified peoples.  The full original article can be found here on KateHarding.net and I recommend every single person that comes to my blog go over there and read it (or read excerpts here). Gentlemen. Thank you for reading. Let me start out by assuring you that I understand you are a good sort of person. You are kind to children and animals. You respect the elderly. You donate to charity. You tell jokes without laughing at your own punchlines. You respect women. You like women. In fact, you would really like to have a mutually respectful and loving sexual relationship with a woman. Unfortunately, you don’t yet know that woman—she isn’t working with you, nor have you been introduced through mutual friends or drawn to the same activities. So you must look fur...
2 comments
Read more