This entry is due to the fact that I have had two online inquiries from no less than two men wondering if I would enjoy making their unwitting wives a cuckold...meaning fucking them behind their wives' back.
Let it be understood that I am writing this from the perspective of a woman. A woman who has been propositioned by men looking to cheat on their wives/girlfriends, not a woman who has ever had ambitions to cheat on her man.
To those of you looking to get some sex on the side. No judgement. However, it does gall me to see the amount of "help me cheat on my wife" posts on Craigslist from guys who just aren't getting what they need at home. Obviously it's sleazy, dishonest, and a major turn off for any gal out there trying to find an honest fella. But it bothers me mostly because I can't relate.
It doesn't take a psychological hack like Dr. Phil to see that these aren't men that are satisfied with their relationship. Obvious shit out of the way, I have to wonder what would inspire a man(or even a woman) to seek sex elsewhere. Plenty of folks reading this would say lack of sex. And while that could definitely be a factor, there are more than likely many other underlying issues. Could be the sex is frequent, but unexciting. Perhaps one or both parties are insecure with fetishes or fantasies they would like to try, but are embarrassed to admit..so they seek them elsewhere. Could be a million things. Like I said, I can't relate.
I suppose I got lucky (or smart) because I wouldn't settle for someone who was sexually incompatible with myself, so I do have tunnel vision on the "my wife doesn't like to give head" thing. If you're married, you've known each other for a while. This isn't something that suddenly changes..such as: if there is something that seems to have changed in a short time, check yourself physically--if someones genitals suddenly smell and that's why no one wants to stick their face there, go to the doctor(I seriously have heard of this happening). Generally, this isn't the issue. The issue seems to be compatibility.
It has even occurred to me that men in a bad relationship would much rather bury their problems in a another woman's vagina, than confront the...vagina that they have..I think(hope) you understand where I was going with that.. I know that this may sound like I'm being Ms. Obvious, but I have to mention it. Counseling may help. There are marriage and relationship counselors that see monogamous couples(of course), swinging couples, and polyamorous couples. No shit about it, this process is painful, but worth it. It is definitely possible that you and your spouse have problems that you guys may not be aware of. Counseling is a constructive way to seek out those problems and fix them before they become too big to fix.
A huge pet peeve of mine is those who think that swingers and poly-couples are an untapped sexual resource. Meaning, people like me are ripe for a quick and exciting lay for those looking to cheat. For those unfamiliar, there is a huge difference between swinging/poly and cheating. Swinging is used to enhance a relationship, not to violate another's. In fact, if there is any rule that holds precedence in any self respecting swinging couple, it is: No Drama. I doubt there is a swinging couple in this country who would appreciate an angry wife crashing their party.
So, all you would be cheaters..we would thank you to keep your bits to yourself..unless your partner feels like sharing.
All of the obvious "My wife wont let me cum in or around her mouth, so could I use your mouth for my personal cum fantasy" inquires aside. There are those that are clever enough to lie. I have even suspected one of the men that I have dated of cheating. If there is anyone out there who is suspecting the same, I have only one piece of advice. It comes in only three words. Quit, block, and ignore. I didn't even ask the guy I suspected if he cheated. No need. Like any good swinger gal, I hold to the precept of No Drama.
Being the clever girl that I am, I have learned from the experience that I had with the perpetrator. These are:
These are cheating hallmarks. If cheating is something that matters to you, know them and avoid them!
I speak for all swingers and poly-couples when I say, one of my biggest fears is having an angry wife/gf on my doorstep. I said before, I'm not very judgmental. If you're going to cheat, it's non of my business I will not go out of my way to find your significant other and warn them about your ambitions to cheat. Not my place. The reason I stay away is because of the drama associated with cheating. I swing to have fun, not make my life more difficult.
Let it be understood that I am writing this from the perspective of a woman. A woman who has been propositioned by men looking to cheat on their wives/girlfriends, not a woman who has ever had ambitions to cheat on her man.
To those of you looking to get some sex on the side. No judgement. However, it does gall me to see the amount of "help me cheat on my wife" posts on Craigslist from guys who just aren't getting what they need at home. Obviously it's sleazy, dishonest, and a major turn off for any gal out there trying to find an honest fella. But it bothers me mostly because I can't relate.
It doesn't take a psychological hack like Dr. Phil to see that these aren't men that are satisfied with their relationship. Obvious shit out of the way, I have to wonder what would inspire a man(or even a woman) to seek sex elsewhere. Plenty of folks reading this would say lack of sex. And while that could definitely be a factor, there are more than likely many other underlying issues. Could be the sex is frequent, but unexciting. Perhaps one or both parties are insecure with fetishes or fantasies they would like to try, but are embarrassed to admit..so they seek them elsewhere. Could be a million things. Like I said, I can't relate.
I suppose I got lucky (or smart) because I wouldn't settle for someone who was sexually incompatible with myself, so I do have tunnel vision on the "my wife doesn't like to give head" thing. If you're married, you've known each other for a while. This isn't something that suddenly changes..such as: if there is something that seems to have changed in a short time, check yourself physically--if someones genitals suddenly smell and that's why no one wants to stick their face there, go to the doctor(I seriously have heard of this happening). Generally, this isn't the issue. The issue seems to be compatibility.
It has even occurred to me that men in a bad relationship would much rather bury their problems in a another woman's vagina, than confront the...vagina that they have..I think(hope) you understand where I was going with that.. I know that this may sound like I'm being Ms. Obvious, but I have to mention it. Counseling may help. There are marriage and relationship counselors that see monogamous couples(of course), swinging couples, and polyamorous couples. No shit about it, this process is painful, but worth it. It is definitely possible that you and your spouse have problems that you guys may not be aware of. Counseling is a constructive way to seek out those problems and fix them before they become too big to fix.
A huge pet peeve of mine is those who think that swingers and poly-couples are an untapped sexual resource. Meaning, people like me are ripe for a quick and exciting lay for those looking to cheat. For those unfamiliar, there is a huge difference between swinging/poly and cheating. Swinging is used to enhance a relationship, not to violate another's. In fact, if there is any rule that holds precedence in any self respecting swinging couple, it is: No Drama. I doubt there is a swinging couple in this country who would appreciate an angry wife crashing their party.
So, all you would be cheaters..we would thank you to keep your bits to yourself..unless your partner feels like sharing.
All of the obvious "My wife wont let me cum in or around her mouth, so could I use your mouth for my personal cum fantasy" inquires aside. There are those that are clever enough to lie. I have even suspected one of the men that I have dated of cheating. If there is anyone out there who is suspecting the same, I have only one piece of advice. It comes in only three words. Quit, block, and ignore. I didn't even ask the guy I suspected if he cheated. No need. Like any good swinger gal, I hold to the precept of No Drama.
Being the clever girl that I am, I have learned from the experience that I had with the perpetrator. These are:
- can only meet during the day
- can only meet during week days
- has plans "every" weekend
- you are a specific "day" on his callendar (your dates are always a monday afternoon for example)
- can never stay for long. (Very wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am)
- will not give you any method of contact other than an IM address or an office number
- suddenly and often breaks plans with very short notice
These are cheating hallmarks. If cheating is something that matters to you, know them and avoid them!
I speak for all swingers and poly-couples when I say, one of my biggest fears is having an angry wife/gf on my doorstep. I said before, I'm not very judgmental. If you're going to cheat, it's non of my business I will not go out of my way to find your significant other and warn them about your ambitions to cheat. Not my place. The reason I stay away is because of the drama associated with cheating. I swing to have fun, not make my life more difficult.
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