Big Coyote Energy

Warning: You're entering an area where verbal diarrhea is located. It's December 27th and i'm still alive. For the past two years, from November 30th through approximately December 20th i have been unable to focus. Work takes up almost all of my time (hell 22+ hours of overtime per pay period). I can't focus on any of my hobbies or friends. I've barely got time to feed the cats and clean the geckos. Their cages are all clean now, except for one food painter who needs hers cleaned again. Animals man, animals. Getting sick absolutely sucked and i'm glad im better. Flu is no bueno. I'll be getting a flu shot soon. Maybe today! Since i'm not sick anymore and you shouldn't get vaccinated for shits when you're sick. #Immunofails. This year has been weird. Starting around July with crazy panic attacks related to my parents and my coming out process to them. That has thankfully been an easier and better process than i could have hoped for. My paren...

My birthday is around Thanksgiving. I don't really like it, but it isn't something i've got any form of control over. V-day conception means a Thanksgivingish birthday. Quite a few people in my life and family suffer the same fate. But you know what is pretty cool? I get to see my family every year on or around my birthday because the turkey day is a big deal for them. This year, by dessert, we saw at least 55 people through the door. I don't really like turkey. But you know what? Every year my family also has ham for me and the other turkey naysayers (gobblesayers?). I chow down on that ham like the puppy i am. And really, who is going to forsake delicious ham in favor of turkey. Hammmmmmmmm. This is the first time i've seen both my parents in person since i came out to them about poly. And no one freaked out. They bold told me they loved me. The written message in my birthday card almost made me cry. The good tears i mean. Daddy is sleeping next to me, finally not...

Take a look here .

So, i talked to my Dad for like 30 seconds because i was at the cell phone store and needed the account PIN so i called him. He seemed good. Whoot. I spoke to my Mom earlier this week to discuss Thanksgiving plans and she said he took it pretty well. He doesn't really have any questions and wasn't freaking out. He ALWAYS makes his feelings pretty well known so him being neutral is the best option i could have asked for. This is going pretty well.  More later?

On Thursday (10/24) my mom told my dad about Kamm and i's relationship. The non-monogmous part of it. This was a controlled outing, i gave her permission. We'd been talking for a while about the 'best' way to tell him. There is no 'best way' there is no 'better time.' Every time, every way, all this information is stuff i knew he'd never want to hear. Honestly, he's pretty open minded. My tester questions had always ended in neutral though confused answers which is all i could really expect from him, well, them. Both my parents. The only people in my life who don't know are some cousins and aunts and uncles. I've debated changing my facebook status but i do feel like that would be rubbing it in peoples faces, i also feel like my parents deserve some time to come to terms with what is going on in my life before my aunt starts calling them in a panic going "OMG what does *****'* facebook status mean?!" because she will. She...

If you're a masochist, sometimes you know from your earliest memories that pain turns you on, that it is something that you want and need with every fiber of your being. Others of us are late bloomers in the pain spectrum and may need a little conditioning and self reflection to realize that this is something we want in our play.  Join Jaine for a discussion on how masochism can develop in the most unlikely of people.  We will discuss: Conditioning Accepting pain Flipping the brain switch Who can do this  Why would you want to become a masochist How this may effect your play in the future  And more 

I won't make out with you because i don't want to *give the wrong impression*. I won't make out with you because i consider that a very close intimate act and prefer only to do it with those i have plans on getting more intimate with later. I feel that lately people have been misconstruing my actions, and my words, and it is something i've found rather unsettling. People making up relationships when there are none, or assuming friendships when (to me) i clearly would have not used that label. I try to be clear. Sometimes to the point of being offensive, with my words, my sentences, my syntax, to make sure my exact, actual point gets across. I don't play with peoples' emotions. I don't sit here, planning on harming people. I'm a physical masochist not an emotional sadist. I have triggers, fears and issues just like everyone else, i don't think i'm exempt from being told i'm acting like an ass, or genuinely apologizing for my behavior o...

Hey everyone! A few days ago i got an email from www.feedspot.com, a place online where you can pool all of your blog and web related resources into one easy to navigate place (it seems). I've got a few followers on there and wanted to take a moment out of my day to thank you guys for keeping up with the blog and thinking highly enough of it to add it to your feed lists.

This blog lately has had less to do with me personally and more to do with resources and information, and i'd like to find a better balance along the lines of things. I recently posted a 'wanted' type add, that i wanted to repost here. It details a lot of the things that i have gone through and experienced and goes onto talk about things i'm looking for and desire in the scene realm.  I'm not necessarily posting this here to find my dream-dominant, but if that happens i won't complain. I'm posting this more to show a personal part of my journey and maybe someone who reads can relate to it.  --- "Submissive masochist in search of Dominant" The title says something, but it doesn't really say a lot now does it. I've been thinking about this for a while. Months now, that a dedicated power exchange relationship is something is something i desire in my life. Daddy has given me his blessing to try to find this kind of dynamic with a...

All my scheduled classes are completed. Fet Fest (pictures submitted too). Touch of Flavor BDSM Essentials Discussion Group. Rope Mecca (although not teaching). I've got some additional exciting announcements to make as soon as Daddy gives me the go-ahead. Maybe this weekend. Two of my favorite monthly events are on the same day this month, which sucks  :/ I had to choose which to attend. Anyway, up and coming topics include: - A writing on consensual non-consent - Policing and awareness in the scene - Other stuff I'm to medded up to think about (thanks sudafed).

It really is feast or famine for me with this isn't it. Sorry everyone, stepped out of the country for a week and that basically consumed most of my July and August. I'm back now, getting my life in order and readjusting to 'murica. Drinking the tap water, it is awesome. In September, i'm doing a lot of stuff. I'm teaching the following classes at the following events, so feel free to come see me :3 FetFest 2013  - Do It Like an Animal: Pet Play (9/1) Touch of Flavor  2013 - BDSM 101 (9/7-9/8) BDSM Essentials Discussion Group  - Expecting the Inevitable: What to do when a Scene Goes Wrong (9/14) I've had a ton of play this week that i'm debating what to write about... I'll get there when i get there. I do need to do some reflective writing. Hope all you lovely people out there in internet land are doing well.

Yesterday i came out (about non-monogamy) to one of my parents (my Mom, as she has always been the more supportive and rational parent, not to knock my Dad, but him and i are the same kind of stubborn, so when we butt heads it's like two donkeys sort of just kicking each other. One is just a little younger and smaller than the other one. It often takes my Mom to sort out things between us, though it's been years since she last had to play that role). This is a small entry, but i thought it was important to make. I am thinking about writing her an email, just to explain and clarify a few things (a lot of stuff in my life suddenly made a lot more sense to her). My catalyst for coming out was the stress i was putting on them. I love my parents. They do a lot for me. I never want to cause them stress or heartache. My secretiveness, lack of desire to open up and really bring them into my life was upsetting my Mother. This is apparently been a problem since i was kid. Not surprisin...

Even if you aren't looking, M0co, of M0cojute.com makes the best bondage rope ever.  Seriously. Daddy has a set of singed and oiled ropes that he has started using on me and i love them. HarshJudgement also ties with M0cojute. It's light, it's springy, it has wonderful energy and is great to tie with and be tied with. I rarely advertise for products, but M0co and SirRonC make an amazing product. Check it out at M0cojute.com .

I didn't even realize the twitter link up at the top was directing to my old username. Oops. It is now going to the correct one @EroticWetAtomic. Sweet. Also, the blog really needed and update. Blogger is now working better and let me redo the theme on the blog along with all the customization options. That is why the blog looks different. Switched out the background for something nice and houndstoothy because, biting ;).

Warning: This is insanely long. "Play Hard or Go Home" was my fusion motto. No offense to those who don't want to play hard or who did go home, this was just my personal thing. I wanted to push myself to my limit, and basically got there. Summing up DOFusion13 in numbers; 1 hole. 1 shovel. 1 bucket. 1 sprained rib. 1 bottle of alcohol. 1 box. 1 gift. 1 hit to the face. 2 punches to the chest. 2 cigar socials. 3 fireballs. 4 partners. 6 great meals with friends. 14 strips of bacon. 43 bruises. Countless bites. Countless screams. Countless orgasms. Countless tears. Countless friends. I stole this layout from @Harley_Quinzel. I loved the idea and it really helped me organize my thoughts into something coherent. Overview: DOFusion13 was amazing. I was surrounded, every moment by people who love me and care about me. I got to spend more time with my sadist than ever before. I got to present Daddy with the gift i've been planning for months (with t...

We've all had it happen; something horrible happens during your scene. It doesn't matter whether you were topping, bottoming, serving or being served. You've had a scene that just didn't come out the way you wanted it to. Expecting the Inevitable (a discussion class taught by Jaine Lane, aka EroticWetAtomic) will address pitfalls and injuries that occur during all kinds of scenes, and what to do about them. In this class we will cover: * Flexibility * Adaptability * Understanding realistic expectations * Personal responsibility * How to talk to someone who has injured you unintentionally * Negotiating a scene for next time * And more Not everything that "goes wrong" during scenes is horrible or traumatic. Not everything that stops a scene is something anyone else besides the participants would notice. If you haven't had a scene go wrong yet, consider yourself lucky, as this is a situation of "when" not "if...

Hey everyone, sorry for the lack of updates. There wasn't a lot going on in May and now June is going to be insane. I'll try to do write ups in between things. This month we have the following: Private Event (KBW) this weekend. Private BBQ (PIBBQ) Sunday  Private Event (EL) next weekend, also Fathers Day. DO Fusion the week after. Krakens Lair the week after Fusion So this month will basically be a whirlwind of debauchery. I can live with this.

A few weeks ago i went to visit Lynk. Our play tends to get very intense very quickly because we don't get to see each other that often. We do a lot of biting, rough body play and other more sadistic stuff.  We'd been discussing drowning, actually. I'm very curious about drowning, but something more interesting came up; blood play. Daddy and Lynk are planning something big for an outdoor event later in the year that i am going to be involved in. That involves a lot of blood play. I asked Lynk if we could try some blood play, on a small scale, just to see if it was something i was even into. I've seen other blood play scenes before and while i could appreciate it, i was missing something. Once i figured out what it was that was missing, Lynk was happy to help. The thing i was missing was context; It was(is) very important that the blood that is in the scene is at least partly mine. For me the act of suffering and bleeding at the hands of another is arousing as fuck a...

For those of you who were planning on attending Touch of Flavor this weekend, please see this link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LI5S79xRNeEjx-9Be1I_sN0tFuD1zOJO9lytiqQve84/edit Touch of Flavor will be rescheduled and relocated.

Hey everyone, I am here, i've just been busy, and or lazy and or distracted by cats. I've been doing a lot of event work and less chilling out and blogging. Have no fear, i will get some good writing ready to submit in the next couple of months. If you are in the Maryland area and would like to see me teach, i'll be at Touch of Flavor this weekend teaching Bottom's 101; safety in the dungeon, moderating their relationships panel and acting as a demo bottom for the butt drumming class. I'll also be attending two other events this weekend (i'm gonna be BUSY).

I know i've addressed this before, but this is the new topic of interest flying around the fetlife, so i figured i would address it. I know i have other things i need to write about (hello Charm City Fetish Fair) but i'll get to those next week. Lets talk about safe words. We'll start with a basic definition. A "safe word" is a word or phrase than when said in the context of a BDSM scene, will stop the scene. This can be something general like "red" or it can be something that would not generally come up in the context of a scene ie "fruit basket" "platypus" or "Fluggaenkoecchicebolsen." Words like "no" "stop" and "oh fuck" are poor choices for safe words, as they are generally uttered during scenes anyway. In theory they sound like a great idea. Of course safe words have their place in the context of BDSM. The problem with them is twofold. 1. Safe wording can be seen as a "...

I get that male sexuality is something to be embraced. Guys start playing with themselves from the time they figure out they have something "down there." Us vagina-havers aren't always so familiar with our bodies. This is certainly something that should change if you are comfortable with the idea of masturbation.  Everyone loves orgasms, bla bla bla. That said. I don't really masturbate. I don't like it. It's like a chore for me. Masturbation is the last option before insanity for me. There is a reason for this and it has taken me years to figure out. Sex is an experience for me. Sex is something i do with someone else (or a few someone elses). Masturbation is something i do, to myself. There is no one else. Either i make up the fantasy or nothing happens. Either i dominate myself, or nothing happens. Honestly, nothing is better in most cases. I am incapable of dominating myself. I'm a submissive, dammit. There is very little difference to me between...

Photography by Amy_Morgan.

This article was written by Silk, a friend of mine. Daddy and i had just been discussing some of these exact issues yesterday on our way to work. Silk has given me permission to post the article he wrote (thank you). Please keep in mind when attending parties, events, etc, what the rules are for dealing with rape, sexual assault and other consent violations at the venue are. If you aren't sure then ask. You have a right to know how your safety is being looked at by the people hosting parties.  Why Would Somebody Not Report Sexual Assault/Rape In The Scene? There are many, many reasons why people may not report such terrible physical and emotional violations of their person. Adding that it happened with somebody from or in the scene makes it even more difficult. In the vanilla world alone 54% of sexual assaults are not reported to the police. (RAINN, 2012) It is estimated 97% of perpetrators won't spend a day in jail. (RAINN, 2012) So why not report both i...

The problem with drama isn't that it exists. Drama is drama, it sucks, it's annoying, it happens. This we know. Think about the scene as a conveyer belt. Something happens at some point on the belt, people freak out, yell, scream, divide, do whatever it is that they do, and then they move on. As new people get into the scene (or hop onto the conveyer belt) they begin to hear bits and pieces of the old stories and the old drama, but they can't access the old part of the conveyer belt. They can't see the actual happenings for themselves. But they begin to form opinions based on hearsay or partial facts, or worse, get shrouded under the influence wings of the people who have "caused problems" before and are changing the stories to make themselves no longer the villain. I have read no less than 3 writings today alone on issues that are (to the best of my knowledge, and my knowledge is pretty fucking extensive) absolute idiocy at worst and grossly misinformed a...

What are your views on the ethics of kink? "The difference between assault and BDSM is consent." That entire sentence sums up my views on the ethics of kink and BDSM. Consenting adults can engage in whatever behaviors and activities they prefer, as long as their activities do not impact persons who have not given their consent. There are fetishes that some people have that other people may not be into. I am a very "your kink is not my kink, but you are welcome to enjoy your kinks" kind of person. There are some kinds of play i'm not comfortable witnessing so i will remove myself from the area so others can continue their fun.

Winter Fire was like a blur. It came and went so fast and i miss it a lot. I can't believe it's been a week already. It's like something that roared past that i got to touch for a fleeting few moments and like that it's gone. Now i'm just looking forward to Fusion, Fet Fest and a few other events (kinky and non-kinky) we're planning on attending. *As per usual, some of this may be paraphrased or out of general order.  If you were involved in some of this or are a close friend, please PM me and give me the correct order of events. Friday Friday Daddy, Israfela and Liberteeny arrived at the overflow hotel around 6 o'clock. We dropped everything at the room, while Daddy took the car back to the metro to park it. We hit registration and vending for a bit and then went back to the room to shower and get sexy. I had a volunteer shift at 9 as SOR monitor in Sex O Rama. I put on my sexy see through red and black dress, black garters and striped bla...

Flux is the word that fits me. I sit here, 3 days away from my 1 year anniversary of being collared to Kamm. 7 days from the start of Winter Fire. Sitting on my couch, watching Family Guy on my day off and waiting for a card reader to arrive in the mail so i can get some *legit* work done. Also, not sure if journal entry or erotica. Might be both... The past year has uncovered a lot of things for me. Some good, some bad, some wholly awesome, some that can go eat a bag of dicks. There are parts of me that are afraid of what i want to do, what turns me on, what i fantasize about. There are other parts of me that are turned on by what i fear. I fear the escalation. If i think some of the stuff i want to do now is entirely fucked up, what will i be doing in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years? I think about my kinks every day. I actually have a libido. I actually want sex. I feel like this has fixed me, for lack of a better term. I was broken before. Crappy libido, didn't think about s...